Thoughts on my surprise

My last post came as quite a surprise to me. If you are like me, when you want to become pregnant, every month in your mind you think you are. You think that every little thing could be because you are pregnant. You're tired, you have cravings, you seem to be going to the bathroom more, you have more mood swings. Until BAM, you are hit with your monthly. Or you take a test only to see a negative sign. And nothing hurts more than those negative signs. So, when I was more tired than usual I just thought it was due to a long trip. When I thought I was going to puke in the van I thought I was carsick from reading. When I craved green olives I thought it was all in my head. I told myself I wasn't going to take a test until the 1st. But I bought it early because sometimes when I go to buy them (at good ol' Dollar Tree) they aren't there. I decided to buy 2. Of course, once I have a pregnancy test in my presence I can't wait DAYS to take it! What would I be thinking??? I had to know- NOW! The first test I took, the second line appeared very faint at first. I went and got Zach. I thought maybe I was imagining that line there. But I wasn't. It grew darker over the 3 minutes. I decided to test again a couple of days later. But once again, with a pregnancy test in my midst I had to know! So, I took that one. This time the second line appeared quicker and darker. But I still couldn't believe it. It just didn't seem real. I didn't really 'feel' pregnant. I thought it was all in my head. So, I went to the doctor to get it confirmed. I had to wait on the phone. By this time I knew I was pregnant, but while waiting for the result I began to panic inside. What if I'm not? I would be crushed. Of course, the answer was positive. It is becoming more real to me now. Of course I was immediately excited, but I just couldn't believe it. I am going to have 4 kids? 4??? That seemed a big scary to me. I am now into my routine with three. Now I'm adding another! Am I crazy? The world probably thinks so. I know my family does. But I am ecstatic. I mess up on a daily basis at this mothering thing. I wonder if I will ever get it right. But, God has blessed me with another child! How great, how awesome is that?!?!

The two older ones already have their 'orders' in. Of course H wants a sister. She already has two brothers! J said he wants a boy, but later he told me he want me to have two babies- a boy and a girl! The don't quite understand that I have no say in the matter, but H tells me Jesus told her its a girl! The night I told J when I was putting him to bed and when I went to turn out his light he asked, "Will you have the baby tomorrow?" Oh, the sweet innocence of children!

Here is a poem that tends to circle around some e-groups I'm in. The author is unknown, but it is a good poem.

Have you ever cleaned out your pocket

And discovered a ten dollar bill?

You really weren't expecting it,

But it gave your heart a thrill!

Have you ever opened the door

And there before your eyes

You saw the flower man standing

With an armful of surprise?

Well a surprise is exactly what's happened

To us as a man and a wife

The Lord has been gracious and perfectly good

By adding to us a fourth life!

We could have told you in person

But it's very important you see

That we only see thoughts and reactions

Of happiness, smiles and glee!

So once you've had time to digest it

And been able to ponder it all

When you have a nice word about all that you've heard,

Feel free to give us a call!