A Gentle Answer

This post is in response to the comment I had under the untitled post on the 31st of July. The words of the anonymous commenter are in red.

First let me comment by saying that the post was intended toward nobody in particular. Zach had just commented that in regards to my post about my frustrations about housing that people may think we’re not in God’s will or something to that affect. So I was simply trying to say that I’m not going to let what people think affect me. We know we’re where God wants us and that’s all that matters. And sometimes people, even people with good intentions may try to get in the way of God’s work. Let me add that I am not trying to be ‘mean’ or ‘ugly’ in my response to the comment.

I have been following your blog and it seems like you are getting too caught up in martyrdom, or maybe losing focus of what you are doing and why.

I don’t see how a simple post about frustrations about housing issues implies that I’m losing focus. There are frustrations in everything in life: pregnancy, birth, child-rearing, marriage, homeschooling, moving, adoption, etc. We live in a sinful world and sometimes we face frustrations. You would have to be a saint to not get frustrated with things in life. Is it ‘right’ to get frustrated? No. But I admit that I am a sinner. I claim no perfection. But my focus has not taken the wrong fork in the road just because I get frustrated with things.

Venting is one thing, but you are seemingly getting to an ugly place. If this is truly what God wants you to do, why are you letting the destroyer show anger and discord through your words and actions? From the tone of this post, if it was the first time for me to read this, I would not come back - and thus miss out on some wonderful information or following what could be an outstanding witness to God's provision.

I don’t see how my posts are ‘getting to an ugly place’. The destroyer is not showing anger and discord through my words and actions. I’m assuming the statement, ‘If this is truly what God wants you to do…’ implies toward our adoption? My ‘frustration’ posts were in regards to our whole housing issue~ military housing. It had nothing to do with adoption. But since that can of worms was opened in your comment I will be addressing that.

Have you ever moved? Have you had to deal with people on ‘high horses’ with military housing offices? Do you know that a move is stressful, both military and civilian? But the military is a whole different facet than ‘normal civilian’ life that most people cannot understand unless they’ve been in the shoes of a military family. That is where my frustrations stemmed from in those posts. Every move brings upon it change and stress to some degrees. While I love to move it is stressful! Our things were packed up and we couldn’t get a house! I was at my wits end with it all!

My blog is not a place of good, happy, feel-good and fuzzy feelings. It is a place where I am real. I am who I am. I don’t hide behind pretty rose colored glasses. One post may talk about the joys of motherhood and the next may complain about my mothering tasks. Does that mean that I’m getting to an ‘ugly place’? Most blogs I read function much the same way. I enjoy reading about people who are ‘real’. We try to live a life pleasing unto God but we often fall. But we get back up. We’re human. (Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God).

I will pray that you will find some joy in all this and be able to display it here like you did when you first started this process.


I do have joy. Once again I’m assuming you’re referring to the adoption but I could be wrong. The adoption journey is a lot like a pregnancy. Ups and downs. Days of feeling great and days you’re wondering, ‘Why’. There are many things that come up in the adoption process that may not always be pleasant, things that could rob our joy. After all, the Lord delights that orphans be cared for, so the enemy will do what he can to steal the joy out of it all. Maybe a family has been told they’re adopting a certain child only to find out the parents didn’t want to relinquish their rights. Maybe the child died before being adopted. Do you think people have joy at those times? Ecclesiastes says, ‘There is a time for everything…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance… (Ecc. 3).

You are correct - we all have bad days. Even Jesus cried out to the Father in agony...but he didn't lash out at people like this. He didn't say "If you don't like what I have to say, don't listen." No one is perfect, and you cant always respond in the way Christ would, but you should strive to, especially in a place where your printed word is displayed in public for SO MANY to see.


You are right, Jesus did not ‘lash out at people’. I did not intend for my post to ‘lash out’ either. It is hard to read the tone of what people are saying over the internet. I was simply making a statement that you took the wrong way. It didn’t seem to affect anybody else, so maybe I somehow stepped on your toes in the past by something I’ve previously posted?

It kind of seems like you are looking for people to rave and pat you on the back for what you guys are doing, and when they don't you get angry and lash out. Well, most people did not hurrah Jesus on, including some of His disciples who questioned the things he did and those around him who questioned His motives.

WOW!!! Now I know that this whole comment refers to adoption. And why do I feel like I’ve had a conversation like this before? To me this comment is getting awfully personal and if you know me in real life why not have come to my face about this instead of commenting on my blog and causing chaos and confusion! Also, I have not given as many details on my blog as what I’ve talked with people about so my curiosity is really peaked about who my anon commenter is.

What would be nice would be encouragement from people about what we’re doing. I do not at all expect a pat on the back. This is all about God and I give Him the glory for leading us down this road. I am not trying to say, “I’m so glorified and better than you because I’m adopting”. It has never been my intention to come across that way. I’m not expecting a reward or anything but simple encouragement from friends and family. I have gotten angry with some of the responses we’ve had from people. It is very heartbreaking when the people you think will be excited turn the cheek at it. After all, we’ll be bringing home a child, our child. What will these people do when they see our dear daughter? Walk away and not embrace her? Is that any way to treat one of God’s children?

Proverbs 19:17 He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done.
Proverbs 21:13 If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry and not be answered.

1 Peter 4:9 - Be hospitable to one another without complaint

1 Corinthians 10:10 - Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer

Philippians 2:14 - Do all things without murmurings

Matt. 12:36-37 - For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned

Especially this last verse I want you to take consideration of...if you want to be justified to people(which it seems), don't treat people's opinions and thoughts as dirt, no matter how right or wrong they are. I sincerely hope God is not trying to speak to you through anyone who has "offended" you...sometimes it is the people who make us the most angry about things that are the most right.

There was a time when I felt I needed to be ‘justified’ by people. But I am accountable to Jesus alone and I’ve thrown people's negative comments to the dogs. NO, I am not saying you’re opinions are dirt, but why should I allow people to bring me down? I need to be around those who will life me up and encourage me on the journey. Sure, everyone has their ‘opinion’ on the matter. Maybe you disagree with adoption. Maybe you think it’s a waste of money. Maybe you think we should help those in our own country. I have never stated that international adoption is for everyone and that you all need to go out there and do it. It is our personal conviction, just as homeschooling and being ‘quiverfull’ are. It’s often people who get offended at things of this nature that I wonder if they’re trying to hide from some conviction God may be laying on their hearts.

What are you trying to say here? To listen to those whose words have hurt me because maybe they have a vision for my life that I don’t? That their words are to be heeded over God’s? That what we’re doing is wrong? While I know that people may have good intentions in what they say, do they think that WE can’t hear the voice of God and see His hand?

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 21:30 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.

Anger doesn't deserve a foothold in your life...maybe the anger and gripes should be best left for a non-public blog or diary, or just lay it down at Jesus' feet.

I have let the anger go and I believe I’ve already stated that in another post, again assuming you mean toward those who 'offended' me regarding our adoption. It does not have a foothold. But, I’m still bound to get angry about things. I am a sinner. If you are looking for a blog where it is nothing but encouragement from a ‘saintly’ person this is the wrong blog. I can recommend blogs that provide only encouragement and not the daily struggles if that is what you’re seeking. My blog is my ‘journal’. Therefore, I share all parts of myself. It is who I am. I’ve always been an open person and I will not change to please one anonymous person!

I am praying you have peace, and that the rest of this journey will be an easier road and God's will will just fall into place. Bighugs.

I have peace. A month ago I may not have had the peace I have today. The journey that God takes us on isn’t always easy, just like our Christian walk. We have mountaintop experiences and times we feel like we’re sinking in quicksand. Just because we endure hardships doesn’t mean we’re not in God’s will. I have never felt more in the will of God than I do today. “Bighugs” to you too.

I had to come back and add, that I hope you don't take my comment the wrong way as well. I just would hate to see your mission be overshadowed by the little things that nag us into griping. I truly hope things work out for you guys. :)

Just because I ‘gripe’ doesn’t mean the mission God has for my life is overshadowed by the destroyer. You must lead one fulfilled, blessed life to not have any complaints about things in life that don’t go as expected.

Oh, and I am not sure how you intended your comment. It didn’t come across too pleasantly, but then again it is hard to read the tone of words on the internet. Just as I’m sure this may not come across too pleasantly. I mean no harm or anything by my statements.