Spilling beans

I have some beans to spill. I really wanted to keep it a secret longer but people are finding out so I figure I may as well let you know. I'm going to post it here before I facebook it (not sure when I'll announce it on facebook) so please keep it quiet on facebook!

We are going to have another baby!!!! I am shocked, ecstatic, shocked, excited, shocked, thankful, did I mention shocked!? I'm 6 weeks today due about November 3. I found out Friday night.

When I was out shopping Friday night I bought a test. I think I get obsessed with taking them! I honestly did not think I was pregnant, so I'm really not sure why I bought the test. Back in Feb. I had gotten what I thought was a 'light' period that was a bit earlier than what I expected and just not 'normal' (then again they haven't been too normal). So I assumed it was just a weird period, but at the same time had a nagging thought that maybe it was implantation or something. Also, I've never before gotten pregnant while still nursing. I know its not a sure form of 'birth control' but its worked for me in the past.

Not like we were trying to use it as a form of birth control. We're just like 'if it happens, it happens'. We believe God controls the womb and He is the Giver of Life. For a few months I'd kept having baby dreams, but every month was not pregnant. I hate when 'getting pregnant' consumes your thoughts and one night when Zach was gone I had a really good 'God time'. I remember asking God to take away any baby thoughts if He didn't plan that for me right now. I was completely content either way, to have another baby now or not. I know it all lies in His hands. So, the next day when I started that light bleeding I chuckled to myself thinking how God was showing me now was not the time. Little did I know...

Fast forward to this past Friday night. I got home from shopping and took the test. Zach and the 3 older kids were at the movies, so he had no idea I'd bought it. I took it, turned to wash my hands, glanced at it and already saw a visible + sign. I had to read the paper to see if I was reading it correctly because I didn't believe it! I was so tripped up, I called my friend Angie just flipping out! "Oh my goodness!!! You're not going to believe what I'm looking at!!! Oh my!!!" I was freaking out! Excitement and shock just took over! I honestly did not expect to see that + sign! It was so cool to call her first and share with her! I remember when she'd done pretty much the same thing to me! So, she knew before Zach even knew.

Then I texted him a picture of the test and asked him to pick up another. I later heard him driving up and met him at the door. He didn't get the text! So, he checked it and was like, "What? You're pregnant? How did that happen?" LOL Duh I wonder! So he ran right out to get another test and that too showed up positive right away. We were in shock. We're still in shock I think!

I wasn't going to say anything for awhile. I know how people will react. They'll think we're crazy. They'll wonder why. They'll worry. They think our hands are 'full enough'. They won't be happy. They won't say 'Congratulations'. It's a new LIFE!?!? Why can't people be happy for that??? It's such a shame! This is why I didn't want to say anything for awhile. Plus, I think about my friends (quite a few of them) who desire a baby sooooo badly and are just unable to have one. I know how much they're happy for us, yet how much it hurts them. And I can't help but feel bad, if that makes sense. Needless to say, I don't live for other people and I don't live for myself. I live for God and put my trust in Him. Obviously God wants to bless us with another and He'll provide the strength, stamina, etc to raise another! Its all a matter of trust. I trust in God. I live for God and I will submit to God. I praise Him for the blessing of another baby!

It is crazy to think this is my 7th pregnancy, my 5th baby!!! Please pray for the baby. Pray for me to have peace and to eat healthy! The kids are all excited and they all say they hope its another girl! They're so funny!