Walk to Remember

Today a local hospital had a 'Walk to Remember'.  I haven't been to one before, and though I'd heard about it I still didn't really know what to expect.  I was anticipating it and yet dreading it at the same time- what a way to honor my babies but what a mess I would/could be!!!

We arrived and I filled out a form with our name/info and then walked to the next table.  They had little battery operated candles that say, "Mercy Walk to Remember" with an angel on them (Mercy is the name of the hospital).  They also had white roses with white ribbon where you could write your baby's name on the ribbon.  For some reason I just began to cry right then.  The lady across the table, the volunteer, just hugged me and looked like she was going to get teary.  It just overwhelmed me for a moment there.  We then went to a room where they were putting the siblings handprints on a mural type thing.  They're going to hang that on the Maternity Ward somewhere, near a room that they tend to use for people experiencing the loss of a baby. 

When we walked into the auditorium I could not believe all the people in there!  We almost couldn't find a seat and there were still a lot of people that had to come in!  It was overwhelming and so very sad to think we were all there for such a reason, that we've all lost babies, whether they were our child, brother, sister, etc.  It was also almost a comfort.  To know that so many others have walked this road.  We are not alone.  I hate that we all have to be on this path though.

They had a woman playing a harp, they had some special songs, prayers, poems and other 'snippets'.  I held it together pretty well.  In one part there were readers reading some scripture and the audience responds with a certain scripture (reminded me of Catholic church).  I almost did lose it then and couldn't speak aloud for a bit.  We 'lit' our candles.  We then walked around the 'campus' of the hospital.  It was simply amazing- all of us people.  I think there were at least 300!  Can you believe that?  As cars passed us I just felt so humbled to be able to do such a thing for my precious babies.  We had a picture taken in front of a fountain and then walked to the 'Memory Garden'.  There was a violinist, some reading and each person took their rose to the foot of an angel statue and spoke the name of the baby they were honoring.  Amazing.

I hate that we have to be part of that 'club', part of something like that.  At the same time I am so very thankful that we have something like that here that we can take part in.  I hope that while we're still here we'll make it an annual affair for our family.  I hope that the next place we move also has such a thing to honor our precious little ones.

Zach really thought this song was a tear-jerker:

STILL

music & lyrics: Gerrit Hofsink


I’ve been waiting for you
For such a long time
You’re always on my mind


And I’m lying awake
Most of the night
Waiting to hold you tight


Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
This can’t be true


Chorus:
Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we’ll meet again


Close to my soul
Close to my heart
Right from the start


Lost in time
Lost in space
Can’t wait to see your face


Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
I know it’s true


Chorus:
Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we’ll meet again


Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do
With this pain that I’m going through
But I know one day, God will take me away
And I’m coming home to you
And when I do
And look at you
My heart is healing
I know it’s true


Chorus:
Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we’ll meet again