Torn

I'm so torn about moving.  In a sense I really look forward to being at a base again (hopefully) and I actually look forward to living in base housing.  Call me weird.  I just am tired of us owning our own home and don't really want to buy again until we can settle down somewhere.  I see all these neat ideas on Pinterest and I think, "Boy when we move I want to do that."  I could do it in this house, I suppose, but it just makes more sense to wait to do some things until we move.  I am just ready for some changes in decor and stuff, ya know?  It gets tiring having the same old things!

In another sense I dread moving.  I LOVE being somewhere where I run to the store and I see someone I know.  I remember first moving here (or anywhere for that matter) and you are at the store or wherever and you see nobody you know...you feel so alone, so new!  Pretty much everywhere I go nowadays I see somebody I know.  I run to Target and I ALWAYS see somebody I know.  The cashiers at Fareway are familiar to me (and oh so friendly).  I swear the people at that store are the friendliest I've ever met at a store, although Hy-Vee ranks up there too, I just don't go there as often.  At the Valentine's party with our homeschool group the other day it was so nice to keep hearing, "Hi Jamie!"  I was reminiscing on the way home from the party about my first meeting with that group back when we first moved here.  I knew one person- the "president" of the group.  I remember feeling so alone and unwelcome, not knowing a soul.  I came home SO discouraged, really not sure I wanted to join that group.  Here I am three and a half years later and even though we don't do a whole lot with the group I have made some great friends through it.  I have finally found a "real" salon with an awesome stylist.  She is super sweet and I'm so thankful to have somebody take the time to make my hair what I want it and not just give me a cut.  I love walking into the gas station and having the cashier recognize me and chat away.  More importantly we are meeting more and more people at church.  After almost 3 years I finally feel at home there.  Do I really want to "throw" that away?  I know how hard it is to find a Bible believing/preaching church.  Then it takes awhile (for us) to jump in and feel like we're part of the "family"...am I ready to move on?  Of course it's not my decision, is it?  It's all up to God, of course.

Zach applied to a job at Buckley AFB near Denver.  I would LOVE to move there.  For a couple of years now I keep saying how much I want to go to Colorado.  I have no idea why I have this desire.  I've never been there.  Part of me is praying he gets it.  Another part of me wants to be "stuck" in Iowa because that would be a good thing too.  Although, being in Iowa for a longer period of time also has some downfalls...our house is "too small" for us and way far from Zach's work.  I wouldn't want to move out of our current town because it is home and I love it, its close to our center of friends, church, etc.  Then again, if we moved to the north end of town he'd be that much closer to work...but we'd have to rent cuz this girl doesn't wanna buy again for about 7 years!

So much to think about.  I am SO thankful for how the Lord has blessed us here in Iowa.  It hasn't all been peachy, of course.  Lots of trials.  But I choose to look beyond those and see the blessings here.  I'm so thankful for each of those blessings.