Where has the week gone?

These are the flowers we had placed in church on Sunday in honor of Malachi. Beautiful, aren't they? They smell so good! I hate that flowers die so quickly! That's one reason I never buy them. Saturday we went to eat at Olive Garden. Oh it was delicious. We hadn't been there in forever. I so want to go back...today!

I can't believe I barely posted all week! Monday I woke up feeling so much more energetic! I wanted to clean! But I didn't. Instead I committed myself to doing school! That's more important than a clean house, right? Zach was off Monday and Tuesday because he tested for Master Sergeant on Wednesday. He thinks he did alright, so I am really praying he makes it! We won't find out until June and if he made it he wouldn't sew it on until the summer of 2009 but its a good pay increase! So far he's made rank the first time testing, if not earlier so I'm counting on it again. He works so hard and puts up with a lot so I'm believing God will bless him, but if not its ok- he'll just test again next year!

Tuesday and Wednesday I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. I went through clothes and have 3 huge garbage bags full of our clothes to get rid of. I cleaned the refrigerator. I cleaned. I was so tired of a nasty house! I also did school. It is nice to be getting back into school. We've been doing about 2 lessons a day because I don't want to be at it until July! And they really don't seem to mind working so we keep at it!

Today we dove right into our schoolwork. Little Man amazes me by how fast he picks up on math! Today he learned skip counting, and while not hard at all I wasn't sure he'd get it. Boy, he did awesome! Princess is learning cursive writing and really excited about it! By 2 pm I was exhausted and had to lie down. I think with all of the cleaning the past couple of days I wore myself out! I was going to go to Park Day today but wasn't sure how warm it would be (I was freezing for some reason). We were also doing well with our schoolwork so I thought we'd just skip it. I also skipped out on a dentist appointment I had today. It was that or take the kids with me and I could see that being a nightmare! Hopefully the date I rescheduled works for Zach to watch them.

On the moving front we can't be more excited. At first we were being shown some affordable homes but they were so small or ugly. We're tyring not to be picky, but it is a home we're going to be purchasing so we do want to be happy with it. We upped the price a bit and there's quite a few we like. We'll just have to see if we can afford that. We did look at our bills and try to figure things out somewhat but its so hard. We're hoping to drive to Iowa in April to really house hunt. I do not want to buy a house just looking at the pictures online! You never know what you may end up with or where it may be (there are many nice ones that seem like they're right by railroad tracks).

I have no idea what I'm going to do yet regarding the birth, but I'll keep praying about it and seeking information. I've gotten some names of midwives and such in that area from people I've been in touch with from there. The thing that excites me the most (I think I mentioned this before) is the church there. I know we haven't actually gone there yet, but it doesn't seem like it could get any better. The pastor's wife and I email back and forth and she is a wealth of information. Not to mention very encouraging. It is always difficult moving and leaving friends behind. When we moved here I was about 7 months pregnant with Cuddly Boy. Of course I was wondering how I'd meet somebody to care for the other two when I had him! I had a friend in NC who had a friend stationed here (the Air Force is a small world) and she hooked us up. We met the Blackmon's and became fast friends. They were the type of people I felt comfortable leaving my children with. And they were so helpful with us moving and having a baby! I feel like the Lord is providing that in Iowa also. He is so good in how He watches over us!

Jodie wants to see some pics of houses we like, so here we go!

415 Beedle Drive-the pictures the realtor sent don't seem as dark and stuff as these ones.

Red Oak Drive- this one is really expensive but I really like it!

Grant Circle- the rooms in this one seem big!

Larson Drive- another nice one

Duea Cr- I think I saw more pics on this from the realtor. I am not on my computer but the laptop so I'm unable to access them.

Greene St- Zach loves the bathtub!

I was trying to be content looking at 3 bedrooms but we've been so spoiled with room for so long that it is hard! And with adding 2 more children to our family this year its just more feasible to have a 4 bedroom and more room. Also, we've had 2 bathrooms for like 6 years so its hard to go to less than that for me. I've been quite spoiled (or blessed) in the houses we've lived in and I really can't imagine going much smaller. The house we're in now isn't very big but I love the open layout downstairs. I keep saying I wish we could just take this house with us! Anyway, I think I should wrap this post up.

In Memory of Malachi Robert~ March 8, 2007

One year ago today I had the opportunity to hold my son's lifeless body as I said hello and good-bye. Malachi, you are forever etched upon our hearts and we love you.

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Knit together in my womb by the Creator's care and grace,

We anticipated your arrival- to gaze upon your tiny feet and darling face.

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Little did we know our dreams were not to be complete,

Instead the Lord arranged for His face to be the first that you would meet.

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We praised our Father for allowing us to gaze upon your form,

To hold you in our hands as we waged an emotional storm.

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What a blessing it was to carry you within for the short time giv'n,

But rather than join your family you were carried into heaven.

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The glory, the beauty, the splendor that beheld your little eyes,

Taking you from evil, sin, death and ugly lies.

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We miss you, dear son, as we feel the void in our family,

But our minds are at rest knowing you're in the best place you can be,

And that one day we will join you for all eternity.

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Memory of a Precious Boy

Today marks one year since I found out my precious Malachi was no longer alive. I remember that day as though it were yesterday. Princess was using the doppler to help the nurse find the heartbeat but they couldn't find it. Finally the nurse thought she'd found it but when the midwife came in she couldn't locate it either. I just thought it was a fluke thing, it seemed like just days before that we saw our babe happily playing in my womb on an ultrasound. That was not to be the case though. The ultrasound that day showed that our dear boy had passed on. I was shocked. Devastated. Although this is not the day that marks Malachi's 'birth' or whatever you want to call it, it is a day I will never forget.

I originally wanted to go to the cemetary today but seeing as I'm dealing with such severe morning sickness that is not to happen. We did go on Sunday, however. As we were driving home from church one of my favorite songs came on. It is Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone). The hymn was sung at Malachi's funeral so now it has such a whole different meaning in my life. This song is a bit different and based on the movie. Here are the lyrics that really struck me on Sunday as I mourned the loss of my little boy:

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, Amazing grace

Of course all of the lyrics really get to me but somehow these words really made me sob on this day. My baby is free. He is not bound by chains. He has never had to endure the sin and sadness of the world, rather he was taken to the streets paved with gold and carried along by his Creator. What a blessed boy he is! To be with Jesus face to face! And to think that he is up there with his brother or sister playing at the feet of Jesus brings me such joy! Sure I mourn my babies and wonder what life would be like if they'd lived. But God knew that these precious children needed to be taken to heaven and not dealt the blows of the world. So while I think about my precious baby today and allow the tears to stream down my face I am also mindful of how God has worked to touch our lives through Malachi's short one. And I praise my Jesus for giving us a son we will get to meet in heaven, another brother for my children, a chance to carry a baby for such a short time.