Loss

On Thursday I went to my first doctor's appointment. I thought I was about 10-13 weeks. He did an ultrasound and it showed I was only 7. He also did an internal one and couldn't pinpoint a heartbeat, but he said that isn't abnormal for being only 7 weeks and asked me to come back in a week. He told me to call if I had any bleeding or anything. Friday I started to bleed. Not a lot, but enough to freak me out. Then it pretty much stopped until this morning. Today I have dealt with bleeding, cramping, etc. I was still holding on to hope that maybe it was just from something else, that maybe my baby was still ok. But, due to the recent happenings of my body I know that I am losing my baby. I am mad. Sad. Can't understand why this is happening. It is one of those things where you think it will never happen to you, although you know it is so common. You hear people's stories all the time. So here I sit waiting for it all to pass. Please keep us in your prayers. It is not easy for Zach either. While we know our little one is in the Lord's hands it is hard to know we will never hold this dear child in our arms this side of heaven. And that hurts. Even if I've carried this child for a few short weeks. It hurts.