Joy in Mourning

I really love the Bible. There are so many special verses, and you can always find something to apply to your life no matter what you may be going through. It seems like when I go through suffering or hard times I often turn to Psalms. Rarely do I look at Psalm 119. After all, it is 176 verses long! But tonight I had a prodding to search there. And what I found greatly encouraged me at this time. I can totally relate to David in asking God to give me strength and compassion; to sustain me, to hear the desires of my heart; to deliver me and give me understanding. And I know that though I suffer much that He hears my prayers and is answering them. He has given me great peace like verse 165 talks about. You know, often I wonder how great my faith is...do I really love God and trust Him? Though this past month has been the most difficult trial I've had to face I've seen how much faith I truly do have. I'm not trying to be prideful in admitting this. Oftentimes during times of difficulty and trouble we turn from God, but I just can't. Just like Psalm 139 says, no matter where I go or turn I cannot hide from God. There have been times I've wanted to; times I've not wanted to see good through this. But with all of your prayers there is no turning and no hiding from God or the goodness He has brought out of this. Even in the littlest things there has been goodness. And HE is so faithful. So loving and caring. He hears these cries, that I, like David, am crying. And He has answered them. No matter how often I may cry out, He always hears me and answers. Oh, my God- despite the pain, the suffering, the tears- through it ALL- I LOVE YOU. There is no way I can turn from my God, even through the darkest time of my life. And to imagine life not knowing Him...to go through such a horrible trial and not know the LOVE of God...I cannot imagine this.

Here are the verses that have stuck out to me at this time from Psalm 119:

28 'My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.'

76, 77 'May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.'

114, 116 'You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Sustain me according to your promise and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.'

143 'Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight.'

145-147 'I call with all my heart; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.'

153 'Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law.'

156 'Your compassion is great, O Lord; preserve my life according to your laws.'

165 'Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.'

169-176 'May my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O Lord, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.'