Ok, is it just me or does it annoy you other bloggers when people leave comments but not their names??? Remember the one comment I had last year in regards to our adoption. I still am not sure who wrote it. Maybe the same person who wrote THIS comment under my 'That Southern Hospitality Thang' post? I am tempted to make my blog by invitation only so that stalkers cannot read it. I like the fact that people can stumble upon my blog and we become blogging friends. But I don't like the fact that people that KNOW me read my blog, about my daily life and such and don't let me know they read it...until they leave THIS comment. My response will be in black, their comments in blue. I am furious reading it. Maybe its pregnancy hormones getting the best of me...I've noticed that with things lately. But like I just said its also the fact that somebody doesn't have balls enough to sign their name yet they snoop into my life by reading my personal blog. And THAT is irritating!
Okay I have to respond to this mess! You are totally misrepresenting Ocean Springs, your church, and the people who live in Ocean Springs. I have to speak up!
Misrepresenting in whose opinion? Yours? You are obviously a local?
I'm sorry that you have not had doors swing open and people running outside to greet you - but Ocean springs is very hospitable. Since hurricane Katrina, a lot of locals are understandably saddened by the loss of THEIR HOMES. But, if you come up to a door with your hands full, you can expect someone to open it. If you only have one or two items at the grocery store - you can expect someone to let you cut in front. If you break down on the side of the road, someone WILL stop. Probably several people. And that is true hospitality anyway.
Hospitality is many things. Sure, it is the kind gesture of somebody holding open a door for you. But it is also, as stated in the Bible, about opening your home to others- be they friends or enemies. And I have seen many a car on the side of the road stranded with nobody stopped to help them.
Another thing, what in the world do you mean that people are acting "offended" that you are moving? Jamie!! You left the church and community so long ago! Not when you moved out a bit, but when you stopped doing this with and within the church. We said goodbye to you a long time ago in so many ways. At this point, most are apathetic at best.
I still am involved in the church, though not as much. And I never said the 'offended' were from the church! It's nice to know my church family is not concerned for me anymore. Thanks for pointing that out. Really makes me feel good. And you wonder why I am ready to go???
What in the world is this about Ocean Springs only being upper class??! Talk to your bag boy, your mailman, you electric man - they will tell you they are middle income at best. Ocean Springs has lower, middle, and upper class citizens. If you are unable to see that, maybe you are as unaccepting as you feel that others might be...
Of course O.S. has all classes- it wouldn't function right as a society if not. But what you see most of is the upper class strutting around like they're all that. This is the view of an 'outsider'. I've had several other 'outsiders' that have moved to this area say the same thing, some of who you, Anon, probably know.
How can you say that no one has reached out to you?? When you lost your sweet baby women rallied to your side. We called you, we prayed for you, we cooked complete meals and carried them to you. I know women who still have you on their prayer lists. Has it meant so little or been so long ago that you have forgotten the comfort we bestowed upon you?
Of course people reached out to me when I lost Malachi. And I am so grateful. It meant so much to me. And on his birthday it really touched me to read the cards and such from those wonderful women. It still touches my heart to think of the kindness. But it hasn't reached beyond that? Sure, we should help people in their grief! But what about reaching out to those same people in normal everyday circumstances? It shouldn't only be when a tragedy occurs that we reach out to others.
What do you MEAN that no one has invited you over? What do you mean that you don't know why?! Several times, in my presence - I watched your kids jump from piece of furniture to piece of furniture with you in the room. These kids did not earn so much as a scowl from you. Speaking for myself only, I do not invite you to gatherings because I want to keep my furniture! Your kids have some poor behavior!
Sure I've been to houses for playdates, as I stated in my earlier post. My children aren't perfect by any means, but I would never allow them to hop from one piece of furniture to another. My children do not have poor behavior and that is quite an insult to me. You obviously haven't been around them often. Like I said, they aren't perfect and I know I complain about them sometimes but in comparison to other children mine are not as bad as you say.
Jamie, I am really not trying to hurt your feelings - but to help you to see the other side of the coin. You have painted a really grim picture of a beautiful town with lovely people. I think you are being so unfair!!
Just because you may see the town as beautiful doesn't mean all do. I do like the quaintness of the downtown- it is beautiful. But beyond that it's not my home and I'm thankful for that. As I was talking to another military wife last night (who I don't think reads my blog so has no idea about any of my posts, but I do think she's a good friend of yours) when we move somewhere we know it is temporary and we make the most of it. Being that it is the end of the road for us, well I am thankful for that. Maybe you need to take off your rose-colored glasses a bit? Or maybe try to see the picture from an 'outsiders' view? Because there are many who feel like I do.
Good luck with your move, your adoption, and your current pregnancy. I hope that you are happy where you are going and that they fill all the needs we were unable to fill. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless!
My normal blog readers...I am sorry if maybe my response wasn't so kind. I know I could have made it much worse than I did. I need to just let this roll off of my back, but sometimes that is difficult to do! My first thought was, "How dare this person write this ANONYMOUS comment on my blog???" Then I began thinking, "See if I ever go back to church, if that's really how they feel about my family!" But I don't think Zach will allow me to skip out on church for 3 months;) And I do have responsibilities there. So I'll just continue on living my life here while looking ahead to a future in Iowa. It can't come fast enough!
Friday, March 28, 2008
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13 comments:
Yikes - I just tried to leave what ended up being a very long comment and something weird happened, so here's the best re-creation I can muster:
I can completely understand why you're upset about the comment; the tone seemed nasty at time.
While it's one thing to say those things to you in person, or even to leave a name with the comment, it's much different to comment like that anonymously. The person could have taken the opportunity to really explain their point of view to you and made it a very constructive moment. Instead, they chose to say their piece it what seemed like a malicious way.
I grew up an Air Force brat, so I really understand the "local" vs "visitor" dynamic, and it can be difficult to work through. We've had a positive experience here so far, but most of the people we interact with are also military, and that can be fraught with its own issues. This is my first assignment as a wife, and not a child; to add to it, my dad was enlisted, and my husband in an officer. I've really gotten a different perspective on relations this this go-around.
My husband grew up in New Orleans, and we both went to college and then stayed in Baton Rouge, so we're a bit more used to this area than others. We understand the "culture" and so that may be why things have been easier for us.
I'm sorry you've had a difficult time lately.
On a lighter note, the weather has been BEAUTIFUL lately, so if you'd like to meet at the park early next week, that would be great. We'll likely be going out of town on Thursday. E-mail me if you're interested!
Ugh...gotta love the anonymous feature. *roll eyes* You can choose not to accept anon comments.
I really do find that hard to believe about your kids!
It sounds like somebody who considers OS "home" had their feelings hurt.
Well that was certainly entertaining. Sorry dude. The thing about you - is that you always say what's on your mind. Good, bad, or otherwise. I rarely do that because I know not everyone will see things from my point of view and I really don't feel like dealing with the "other side of the coin." At least you're brave enough to put your feelings out there. Bravo!
I have a few things to say too, but i don't know where to start.
First, i also understand the "local" vs. "temp" thing. When living in Hawaii, I always loved the land, the scenery all that. But I hated how the locals treated us who were military. But when I am back home (in Michigan), and even though I KNOW that it isn't the greatest city alive, I have a need to defend it. It's people, it's way of doing things, it's history. And that is because I grew up there. I know people, I know the town. Or at least i did.
So in other words, I can understand how local people would take offense to some of the things you were saying. Maybe because you don't like it so much, you are a bit blinded by it, and don't see allot of the good things that happen around there.
I am just saying that because now as I look back at Hawaii, Maryland, and North Carolina, I wish I could go back. It wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be then, and I believe my own discomfort and homesickness made my view of things worse then what they really were.
As a military family you have to learn to adapt, but sometimes it's easier said then done.
Now, the thing with your kids. Come on now, that wasn't needed. I totally understand having friends with kids that I can't stand. I'll admit it. But even with the worst of children, I still wont throw insults. And if I do confront someone on their children's behavior, it is straight to the parent's face, and try to put it in a way that wouldn't offend them. But I also know that some parents have some pretty thick blinders on to their children's behavior.
But it wasn't me Jamie, lol, I've never even met you and the kids, and we are family!!! lol
Oh and another thing that came to my head after...
When you talk about hospitality, I am thinking you are defining it to much. Does that make sense? lol Umm, the definition of hospitality says...
1. Cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests.
2. An instance of cordial and generous treatment of guests.
Hospitality isn't just inviting someone over to your house for dinner,playdates,dessert or whatever. It can be a simple gesture. A hello. Holding the door open. A smile.
I guess I say that because I feel I am a VERY hospitable person. I don't always invite new friends to dinner dates or whatever, but I say excuse me, I say hello, I say thank you, and I am pleasant and try to welcome them.
I just think that maybe the vision of hospitality is different for everyone, so they may be thinking they are doing something good, when you are thinking they are doing enough.
Sorry, I just had to throw that in.
First let me comment by saying that when my kiddos get around other kids they get a bit more wound up- just like any other kid! So maybe when we've gone somewhere with other children they were a bit more rambunctious but I really don't remember them jumping all over somebody's furniture! And my allowing it!
Heather, are you sure it wasn't you? ;) Just kidding! I can see how maybe I've offended people who live here and call it home, but at the same time it's my blog so don't read it if you don't like what I say, ya know? And we're all entitled to our own opinions...so maybe anon wants to start her own blog on how great it is here!
Sorry for the sarcasm guys but it really infuriates me when somebody can be so RUDE on my blog, somebody that knows me IRL and they can't leave their name!
I agree Jamie; it is rude to leave an anonymous comment when you know them IRL. Although they don't share the same feelings, you DO feel that way. They may not intend for you to feel like that but maybe they need to realize that is happens. Instead of being offended by what you said, they could use this as an opportunity to make changes at the church. Especially if they have military families there attending. It could have just been taken offline instead of attacking you, and insinuating that your children are "wild" (not that I believe that) to people who don't know you IRL.
There is NOTHING I hate more (okay, except maybe over cooked spinach) than the annoying "anon comment".
The person who wrote that is obviously someone you know from church and should have sent that entire post to you in a private e-mail if they felt so strongly. And the part about the church members being "apathetic at best" toward you? Have mercy! Got to say, I would not step foot in that church if I was a newcomer. They did not work too hard to make themselves anonymous with all the personal attacks!
As for judging your kids? OOOH! That is the unspoken cardinal sin. NEVER do that in public and a blog is VERY public.
I am with ya girl. I would have been fuming. Just give it to the King and let it slide. After all, you will be a free bird in 3 short months.
Hi Jamie -
I have to comment on this one.
I must admit that I was hurt and offended when I read your scathing comments about my home,the south!
BUT I bet people from New Mexico would be hurt by my account of their home - I hated it, the whole time we lived there! I always say the only thing good to come out of NM is my son (he was born there) reading your post about my southern home made me think twice about the things I say about the places we get to experience. Not many people get to see allot of different places and not have to pay for it:)
Jamie - please don't be offended at the whole church over one persons comment. My Dad is a pastor, and from growing up in a pastors home I know all to well how hurtful comments can cut someone and make it hard for them to continue on with an open honest heart. Just remember - this is one persons opinion! And maybe today they wished they had not written it, or wrote it out of hurt and anger?
You are a kind, sweet person and GOD LOVES YOU and his is the opinion to worry about. I enjoy reading your blog - even the parts I don't agree with:)
To the anonymous commenter: Your comments were rude! There are lots of ways to tell people how you feel (even when hurt or angry) without lashing out at them so deeply. A SOFT ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH! If you did not like what was written there were a million different ways to express that without the ugliness!
SIGN YOUR NAME PLEASE!
Proverbs 6:19 (6 things the Lord hates) .....he that soweth discord among the brethren.
GINA
Okay all, I think it should be dropped now that it has gone as far as it has. Sounds like others have been offended and hurt. I guess an apology on both sides are in order. I too am sorry that whoever anon is, that was not conveyed to you in private. As far as the kids jumping on others furniture? When they have been visiting at other family members homes where I have seen them playing and visiting, I have never, and I mean never seen them on others furniture! Nor have I seen them do this at some of your friends places you've taken me to. Not to say they have not played around on mine but not to the extent where they are damaging it or jumping from piece to piece. They do have permission to play around on mine to some extent but that is it and they do obey when you tell them to stop or before they may get rougher and they are my grandchildren. It also says to love your enemies MT 5:44 so do just that. Put your head up and continue serving the children in church until it is time to move. A funny thought but just joking, when you go to church Sunday you will look at everyone and think could it be her, or her or her!! Or could it be a him? lol Love you. MOM (not afraid to sign my name)
all I can say is.....wow!
Wow. I think that person must not have children! "Save my furniture" yup, no kids. :-) I would have been mad at the entire church after a comment like that, but one of your commentors pointed out that it is only one person and the whole church probably does not feel that way. So, keep that in mind in case you are anything like me. :-)
No, hubby is not in the military. He's police. But we have a good friend in the marines and is currently in Iraq for what seems like the 100th time.
Damn.....too much drama.
This is why I don't like to make too much out of my blog and keep it light.
Keep on truckin' girl.
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