Searching

Today I finally had my appointment with the perinatologist (a maternal fetal medicine specialist or high risk OB). I had no idea what I was going to be walking into, other than that I knew I was going to be meeting with the doctor and I thought it was an hour long. I met this doctor 2 years and I day ago as she's the one who performed my amnio with Abby. I thought she was wonderful and gentle back then...today just proved that point even further. Wow. I was just amazed at the time she took to sit and talk, to pour over my history, my records, to ask questions and to agree with me that there must be some sort of medical thing that is causing me to lose babies in the second trimester. She's the first doctor to not say, "Well, these things happen." I've just felt so strongly since Nathaniel's death that there has got to be a reason why my body cannot carry all my babies past a certain point. And I also wonder how I was able to carry Abby to 36 weeks (opting to have her that early) after losing the two babies before her. I KNOW that God is the giver of life and He's the one who controls our womb. BUT I also feel like we have modern medicine and we can take advantage of that. I even told the doctor (after she explained that she can not 'work magic') that we know God has a plan but we're still wanting some answers.

Anyway, she seemed so knowledgeable and more importantly she had a plan in place for me! (And come to find out this appointment was called 'pre-concept counseling). When I made the appointment I was in no place to THINK about getting pregnant, I just wanted some answers. Now I'm a little more open to it and I suspect that by the time I get some sort of results in a month or more I'll be even more open to it.

Well, back to her 'plan'. They're testing my thyroid and doing some other blood tests. One is called Antiphospholipid Antibodies. If I do have this I'd have to take baby aspirin every day and give myself two injections a day (when pregnant) of heparin or something like it (blood thinners). Scary stuff. But amazing that there are things like that out there. If I don't have that she'll continue to dig for answers. I'm just amazed and thankful that there are doctors out there willing to work to try to help women like me find some answers.