The Waiting Game

I know considering where I was a year ago at this time I shouldn't complain, but boy oh boy can the baby make her appearance yet!?!  I'm so tired of being so sore!  I already have sleepless nights.  I just want my back/side/ribs to feel normal again.  I want to meet this little girl.  I want to get labor over with.  There are so many unknowns that I just want it done!  (Who will end up watching the kids?  How long will it take?  Will it start in the middle of the night?  What about the kids?  How much pain will I be in?  Will it happen before my doula goes on vacation?  The kids?).  Ugh!  I just want it behind me.  I want to hold my little girl in my arms, kiss her and love her.  And please know I'm THRILLED and THANKFUL to have carried a baby to term!  I know so many of my friends who are just aching for that right now.  At the same time, if you've ever gotten to the end of a pregnancy you know just how I feel.  I can't even move without grunting!  People are starting to get on my nerves with comments like, "You look great", "You look five months pregnant", "When are you due?", "Any day now" and on and on.  Maybe I look great to YOU but I feel huge.  I've never weighed this much in my life!!!  Sure my stomach isn't that big but have you checked out my thighs or butt!?!  Ugh!  Disgusting!  Any day now my butt...I've been telling myself this for weeks now.  Now the days are just dragging so slowly it's like a big joke.  Every night I go to bed I think, "Maybe this is the night."  I hate waking up in the morning being the same!  Well, not exactly the same for it seems like every day I have more and more pressure down there.  So, that's where I'm at today.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  And I've never been very good at that!  I know she'll be here soon and I won't be able to imagine what life was like without her, but in the meantime...