An Amazing Weekend! (LONG)

My weekend was amazing. It didn't turn out quite as expected, but God is so good.

Thursday night I could barely sleep. I felt really bloated or something and my stomach hurt. When I awoke Friday morning I had a tiny bit of spotting, but it was barely visible. It did concern me a bit, especially combined with some cramping. But what could I do, I had to be at the airport to pick up Nancy & her girls! I made it out the door, though barely. For some reason my children were so sad to see me go. Cuddly Boy was just clinging to me and Princess was crying because she wanted to come. I felt horrible! I was so excited when I got to the airport and even more thrilled when I met up with Nancy and the crew! I somehow mentioned to them about the spotting and how I was concerned (I wasn't helping lift anything), telling them about my two miscarriages. I didn't want to keep it to myself in case something happened. But I was fine. I had some cramping here and there but I was enjoying getting to know Serene and Pearl and visiting with Nancy. It was such a blessing, cramping or not! We drove to Fairhope, Alabama and had lunch. As soon as I stepped out of the suburban I could tell I started bleeding. So I went to the bathroom as fast as possible, terrified of what I'd see. How could this be happening? Especially now!?!? Why??? Once I sat down to lunch they all prayed over me. I couldn't have been in better company. They were so encouraging! Serene was so positive and kept saying she thought everything was okay with the baby. I was able to somewhat put it aside and enjoy lunch. I didn't know whether to call Zach or not. It wasn't like I could go home at that point- we hadn't even made it to the camp yet! Plus he had to teach for a Master Instructor Award that afternoon and I didn't want to jeopardize that. So I simply waited to call him but did call my doctor's office. Of course they aren't too helpful in situations like this though!

After lunch we headed out. I had been sitting and everything was fine. I had some cramping again but I think driving took my mind off of it. I thought I was lost deep in the heart of Alabama and had to use OnStar and it was distracting! And the company was terrific! We made it to the camp and as soon as I stepped out of the vehicle I felt a gush. I just burst into tears. I looked down at my pants leg and it was soaked! Roseanne, a dear friend I know from retreats, quickly took care of me. She was wonderful! She put me in my room, had me lie down and rest, brought me drinks and checked to see how I was doing. I must add that the gush wasn't just blood, it was like water or something too and I was so worried! I lay in my bed for a few hours and that whole time I just cried out to God. I begged Him not to take my baby. I finally called Zach. I thought for sure he'd tell me to come home but he was pretty calm about it all. I will tell you that I couldn't have been anywhere better than where I was- in the company of Godly women who were uplifting me in prayers. I was wrapped in love!

I decided to get up and eat dinner (I was starving despite my condition). Let me tell you I NEVER bled again! I had some spotting but that was it! My cramping was GONE. So I really had this peace about me that everything with my precious baby was okay. If I was miscarrying it would have continually gotten worse. There was no way I was miscarrying. At times I doubted these thoughts, but through the whole weekend I kept holding on to HOPE. I had this peace that can only come from God. It was amazing! I was able to sit in the sessions and be blessed by Nancy's message and Serene, Pearl and Meadow's singing. I was able to visit with friends from former retreats as well as meet new friends. Women were coming up to me and just praying over me. Saturday I was feeling nauseous again! I rested as much as I could and did nothing during our free time but lie in bed. I was convinced everything was great. I was smiling and laughing, especially come Sunday.

Nancy talked about Powerful Parenting. It was wonderful. I felt distracted at times, my mind drifting to baby, so I really didn't get to soak it in until I was home. The thing that really sticks out to me is Positive Parenting. I feel like I've been such a negative parent. No, no, no is commonly heard. She also talked about our words and how when we open our mouth we either speak words of life or words of death. It was so convicting! Since I have been home I have really been working on this. And I've noticed that with my kinder tone of voice my children respond to me better (duh, Jamie). I just had a conversation with Little Man and when he walked away he said to his brother, "Mom is nice". Yesterday he prayed for me numerous times (once when I was puking, another time when I was saying my leg hurt). It is so unlike him to do that! Even in one day I saw the benefits of being a more positive parent! Amazing!

I was real sad for the weekend to end but oh so ready to come home to my family. I missed them! There are such incredible women that go to these retreats I wish I could take them home with me! But you always seem to walk away with a new friend and even closer to the old friends. I was bombarded with hugs when I walked in the door! It was so sweet! And I really needed it! I was going to stay home from Awana but I couldn't get a hold of the woman to tell her. I was exhausted and didn't want to overdo it. So we went. Good thing as there was only one worker until Zach & I got there- for 13 kids! It was stressful for me and I was about to fall asleep but I made it. I was able to talk to an OB that goes to our church (I hadn't been to a doctor at all and wanted to get an ultrasound to make sure everything was OK). He told me instead of me traveling to the base to come into his office in the morning for an ultrasound. It was so kind of him and we took him up on it!

You'd think I'd be nervous beforehand but I really knew everything was going to be fine. As soon as he put that instrument on my belly I saw a heartbeat! The baby wasn't even really in focus but I saw that heartbeat immediately! Praise GOD!!! It was a relief to know, even though I knew in my heart of hearts. He checked everything and everything looked fine! This baby is such a miracle! I am so blessed and so thankful to my Lord for protecting this life within me! And yet I never wavered from the hope and belief that all was well. I have been sick with nausea still and trying to catch up on sleep (last night I slept great, finally). And I've been trying to take it easy. I don't want to be stressed or overdo it, but I want to keep my baby safe and protected.

Two side notes that are funny...

1. Friday I had a baby-sitter since Zach was working. I had left some schoolwork for the two older children and one thing was for Little Man to practice writing his letters. When I called to check on them the sitter said he had practiced his letters. The day before we had worked on the letter 'f'. Apparently he was just writing and he wrote an 'f', then a 'u', then 'c' and then another letter. Then he sounded it out and read it! YIKES! It was just a fluke thing I'm sure but what a word to write and sound out!

2. Cuddly Boy was so sweet on the phone when I was gone. He always cracks me up because his little voice is so cute. Well, Zach must have told them mommy was bleeding (they were praying for me too), but not said anything else about it. So when I talked to CB one time he said, "Do you have blood all over you?" It was so funny! He probably pictured mommy at some off the wall place covered in blood! Poor boy!

And some pictures...

Nancy Teaching

Serene & Pearl Singing

Meadow & Pearl Singing

Pearl, me & Serene

Sarah Joy (I met her mom last year, she's adopted from China), Meadow, Me and Sapphire (Nancy's daughter from Liberia)

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture with Nancy. And I look terribly fat in the pictures!