Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thoughts on my surprise

My last post came as quite a surprise to me. If you are like me, when you want to become pregnant, every month in your mind you think you are. You think that every little thing could be because you are pregnant. You're tired, you have cravings, you seem to be going to the bathroom more, you have more mood swings. Until BAM, you are hit with your monthly. Or you take a test only to see a negative sign. And nothing hurts more than those negative signs. So, when I was more tired than usual I just thought it was due to a long trip. When I thought I was going to puke in the van I thought I was carsick from reading. When I craved green olives I thought it was all in my head. I told myself I wasn't going to take a test until the 1st. But I bought it early because sometimes when I go to buy them (at good ol' Dollar Tree) they aren't there. I decided to buy 2. Of course, once I have a pregnancy test in my presence I can't wait DAYS to take it! What would I be thinking??? I had to know- NOW! The first test I took, the second line appeared very faint at first. I went and got Zach. I thought maybe I was imagining that line there. But I wasn't. It grew darker over the 3 minutes. I decided to test again a couple of days later. But once again, with a pregnancy test in my midst I had to know! So, I took that one. This time the second line appeared quicker and darker. But I still couldn't believe it. It just didn't seem real. I didn't really 'feel' pregnant. I thought it was all in my head. So, I went to the doctor to get it confirmed. I had to wait on the phone. By this time I knew I was pregnant, but while waiting for the result I began to panic inside. What if I'm not? I would be crushed. Of course, the answer was positive. It is becoming more real to me now. Of course I was immediately excited, but I just couldn't believe it. I am going to have 4 kids? 4??? That seemed a big scary to me. I am now into my routine with three. Now I'm adding another! Am I crazy? The world probably thinks so. I know my family does. But I am ecstatic. I mess up on a daily basis at this mothering thing. I wonder if I will ever get it right. But, God has blessed me with another child! How great, how awesome is that?!?!

The two older ones already have their 'orders' in. Of course H wants a sister. She already has two brothers! J said he wants a boy, but later he told me he want me to have two babies- a boy and a girl! The don't quite understand that I have no say in the matter, but H tells me Jesus told her its a girl! The night I told J when I was putting him to bed and when I went to turn out his light he asked, "Will you have the baby tomorrow?" Oh, the sweet innocence of children!

Here is a poem that tends to circle around some e-groups I'm in. The author is unknown, but it is a good poem.

Have you ever cleaned out your pocket
And discovered a ten dollar bill?
You really weren't expecting it,
But it gave your heart a thrill!
Have you ever opened the door
And there before your eyes
You saw the flower man standing
With an armful of surprise?
Well a surprise is exactly what's happened
To us as a man and a wife
The Lord has been gracious and perfectly good
By adding to us a fourth life!
We could have told you in person
But it's very important you see
That we only see thoughts and reactions
Of happiness, smiles and glee!
So once you've had time to digest it
And been able to ponder it all
When you have a nice word about all that you've heard,
Feel free to give us a call!


Aunty Cindy said...

WEll Congratulations on No. 4 CRAZY GIRL, LOL. I hope its another girl along with Hannah. No as long as its healthy.

Amie said...

I thought going from 3 to 4 was much easier than going from 2 to 3. With Jonah, we didn't tell the boys until after our 20 week ultrasound. We figured that it wouldn't seem like such a looooong wait that way.

Choppzs said...

It always takes me till the puking stage, and then I start to feel that it is "real". lol. People tell me I am crazy for just wanting to have more children in the future, but I just see it as another blessing added to our family. And I just think of it as the younger I am when I have them, the more years I will have once they grow up to spend some time with just hubby once they have all flown the coop. lol. We'll still be semi-young by then!! lol Again Congrats!! I told ma today too, and she said "Damn, that's gonna be 12 for Uncle Larry!!" lol

Amie said...

I have to add how much I like that poem, I'm going to put that away for next time.

Ur cousin Stephanie hehe said...

Congratulations!!! :) Ur gonna have a handful now lol.. haha jk.. but its exciting.. cant wait to see him/her.. love ya

Bethany said...

Congrats!!! We will be pregnant together....for awhile anyway!

Christine said...

Congratulations! I found your lovely blog via Kelly's blog. I know exactly what you mean about how disappointing it can be when you think you might be pregnant, but your not. I am always wondering if a back ache or an upset stomach means that I am pregnant. I do not know what I would do if the Dollar Tree didn't sell pregnancy tests; I think I would spend a fortune buying them elsewhere. I am praying for a blessed pregnancy for you.