Numbers

ONE~ There is only one of me to go around though I feel like I'm yanked in a thousand different directions.

TWO~ The number of hands I have to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished in a day.

THREE~ The number of years we've been in Iowa.

FOUR~ The number of children I had the first half of this year and first half of this deployment.

FIVE~ The number of children I have the second half of this deployment.  A number that is difficult to adjust to, especially being I am only ONE.

SIX~ The number of months that Zach has been gone and the number of people currently residing in our home.

SEVEN~ Seven is a great number and is the number that will complete our family in less than a month when Zach finally returns home.

EIGHT~ Eight total blessings God has given to Zach and I- FIVE here with us and THREE in heaven.

NINE~ The number of months until we "could" move from Iowa, if the Air Force, and ultimately God, moves us.

TEN~ The number of "important" things Zach has missed the past SIX months- Hannah's birthday, Josiah's birthday, our anniversary, Nathaniel's "birthday", the 4th of July, Naomi's birth, "Grace's" "birthday",  Gabriel's birthday, Abigail's birthday, my birthday.

It has been a LONG SIX MONTHS being just ONE me.  I'm so thankful that I serve the ONE true GOD and that HE has given me STRENGTH to get through this time.  I cannot wait for the next....well...LESS than a MONTH, when our family is complete again when my husband returns.  It cannot come fast enough!  Some days I've wondered how that rope has been long enough to sustain me.  Especially these last couple/few weeks that are d.r.a.g.g.i.n.g. o.n. b.y. 

Where have I been?

Wow this new blogger layout is weird.  I'm not sure I like it or not!  I have been meaning to post for some time but it must not be quite a priority these days.  We've had a busy time of birthdays, we went to Kansas City to visit some friend and have began school (officially).  We're just trying to keep busy now as we're nearing the end of this deployment.  Hopefully less than 30 days to go!  Unreal.  I can't believe we did it (almost).  What an accomplishment.  There were so many times I was at the end of my rope.  I thought I was going to lose it and couldn't continue on another day on my own.  But GOD sustained me.  He gave me strength.  It is only through Him that I have gotten through every single day, every single good and bad moment.  From delivering a baby without my husband to something as simple as putting the kids to bed every night.  I know Zach can attest to the same- he couldn't have done this without the Lord's strength either.  Whew.  All that saying, I've had some trying days lately.  Lots of tragedy for those I love lately and it's almost been too much to bear sometimes.  I know the enemy is trying to get me down, to cause me to stumble and to discourage me these last days until my husband returns.  I will not let him!

Anyway, this is our second full week of school and it's going pretty well.  I have an AWESOME Bible book we all do together in the morning.  Really is thought provoking and eye-opening and I hope will cause the kids to ponder God and grow in Him.  Each of them has really surprised me already this year and taken off in their work. 

As I said, we went to Kansas City to see some friends.  They live in the country on a 'farm' (they pretty much just moved there so are a small farm but one day will grow)!  It was wonderful being there with them.  So peaceful out there.  That's the first time ever I've seen the advantage of living out of town!  I think because as my boys grow I see their need to be outside- and they were always outside over there!  Our yard is 'boring' to them :)  We don't have trees to climb and land to explore (nor animals to chase).  You'd think, having only met these friends ONE time in real life it would've been weird going to stay with them, but nope.  I wasn't even nervous about it.  I've known Amy for years via the internet and we have a special bond.  I think losing a baby really bonds people together.  It was a blessed time for our family and I hope not too much time goes by before we can see them again!  We did discover that Gabe is allergic to cats, though, much to his dismay! 

Anyway, that's a bit of what's been going on here.  Time for me to get back to my to-do list!  I'm not even sure who comes around the blog here anymore, so let me know if you read still (please)! 

Done

Have you ever been so bone weary in every conceivable way?  That's how I feel with this deployment.  I know we "only" have a little over a month left, but at the same time that seems like eternity right now.  I am just so tired of parenting alone.  So tired of no breaks.  Even now my kids have been in bed for almost an hour and the only one sleeping is Naomi (who is down here with me).  Seriously?  They see my tears, they see how weary I am and they still persist to disobey, to be flat out brats.  I'm tired.  So tired of it.  Right now I have two girls hollering for me.  I think I am going to snap.  This deployment needs to end now.  I'm so over it.  I'm sorry but I'm just not used to FIVE kids and to do it ALL alone is just that much more difficult.