Saturday, August 13, 2011

Good & Bad

Well today was a rough day.  I had to say good-bye to my mom today.  She was here for 59 days!!!  I don't think either of us expected it to be that long, but what do you do when a baby comes late!?!?  I cannot put into words how GRATEFUL I am that she was here.  What a blessing, and I can only pray that God blesses her in return.  It was wonderful having her help, her companionship and most especially her presence at Naomi's birth.  She typed something to me tonight that said something like "it was so nice spending so much time with you as we haven't had that since you've been an adult and moved away."  I never thought of that, but how true!  We've had week-long visits but never month long like this!  It was so fun to share in this time with her- even in little things like going to the park or getting together and visiting with friends.  How awesome that she could share in that with me!

I have been crying off and on all day when it hits me.  I think today is the most I've cried in a long time (I never even had "baby blues" or cried much after Naomi was born, although there were a few times).  It stinks that I am alone again.  As I pondered it, I was used to life with 4 kids and though the end of my pregnancy was so hard with the pain I had, I had a groove.  Now I have a new baby and need to figure out a new groove, and its all just new to me!  And it scares me!  To be alone with 5 kids!  YIKES!  They SO outnumber me.  At the same time I KNOW GOD is here and my strength.  I also was very teary thinking of how the reason she came is FOR the birth (and to help afterward).  Well, now it's over and she's gone and (Lord willing) she'll see Naomi in a couple of months again.  But, she was here for such a special time and now it has to end.  And she'll miss seeing Naomi grow up.  It just breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes again. 

But I did it.  I got through today.  One day at a time.  And Zach will be home in two months (Lord willing).  Hannah was supposed to have book club today but it was cancelled.  After we brought my mom to the airport we ran to Barnes & Noble to get the kids' free books for their summer reading program.  We grabbed some fast food to eat on the way home, came home and relaxed (and Abby napped).  Then we ran some errands (picked up Mary Kay, mailed CPI forms (for homeschooling) at Hy-vee, dropped off gift for doula, went through car wash, picked up Daisy from groomers).  And I got through all of that alone with 5!  And it wasn't that bad!  Well, I panicked a little as we had JUST gotten into the car wash and Abby said she had to go to the bathroom.  Great!  Well, she held it through the car wash (I had forgotten all about it) and through our walk in Petsmart and reminded me when we got back to the car.  Good thing I had her potty chair in the back.  I can only wonder what the people in the car that passed thought! 

We had dinner when we came home and then I did another Bible lesson with them.  We have the best Bible book we're going through and you can even purchase a workbook and it's a lot of fun to do with them.  Then I let them each pick a praise song so we sang together and then prayed.  I didn't want our time to end so I even took them for a walk!  And something dawned on me after I got them into bed.  They didn't fight as much or get into as much trouble when I was SPENDING TIME WITH THEM.  WOW!  And I enjoyed it!  I was even monkeying around with them on our walk and we had some good laughs :)  How thankful I am for such a good ending to our day!  I only pray that our other days go as well!

Speaking of thankful, I am reading such a good book that everyone needs to get their hands on.  I only pray I can keep applying what I am learning, but boy it can be HARD to be thankful (even for the bad, yucky things in our day).  It is called One Thousand Gifts.  Get it!  That's an order!  OK, I am off to bed now.  The house is enjoyably quiet but I do need my rest now that I am the lone adult!


I am OK said...

You could always watch episodes of the Dugger's to keep you inspired!

So sorry your mommmy left, but how awesome it was that she could spend that time with you!

PBJCJ said...

Love reading that you're having sweet moments w/ your babies! I know its hard after having your mom there to help, but you are AMAZING, and I know that you can do this!! <3