Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Are They All Yours?

Today I had my referral appointment on base. I had to take my 3 children with me. After waiting almost an hour to be seen for a 5 minute appointment to get my paper I finally get to walk to the referral management office. I already know the doctor I want and I politely tell the lady when I get there. She gets out her 'list' and looks, confirming that he is approved, but tells me they will assign me whoever and if it is not who I want to call them and they can change it. I ask a few more questions, politely, mind you, and meanwhile the kids are being pretty well behaved. G is in the stroller and H and J are behind me. As I'm finishing up she gives me this scrutinizing look and asks me, "Are they all yours?" She is probably thinking I've lost it- especially with another baby on the way! I tell her yes, thinking to myself "Duh! It's not like I drag the neighbor kids around with me!". I don't understand why people think 3 kids is a lot? I don't think it's even a dent in the 'too many' book! I was pretty frustrated with it all, just because society thinks that children are such a burden. Sure, sometimes I feel that way, but really I am SO blessed to have them in my life- to be given such a gift to be a mother. I strive to be a good mother and to show others that I am not struggling with 3 little ones under foot. I know everybody has different things they say in regards to the "Are they all yours question?". I want to be polite in a response and also let them know that I enjoy my children and I am blessed to have them! What would you say? I've heard a lot on this issue, but I'm curious what all my blog readers would say, so speak up!


Choppzs said...

Oh gosh, isn't it annoying? Sometimes I could just punch people when they say "Gosh you must have your hands full? Are they all yours?" Ughh!! Usually I just respond with a nod and a smile because I am to much of a wuss to come up with some sassy comment. But you know, I should think of one and and say it the next time. I am also always thinking "yah like I drag the neighbor's kids around with me" all the time. That's funny you said that, cause I ALWAYS think that!! lol

DDK23 said...

That is so weird. My first instinct is to think good of people and say "oh she didn't mean it like that" BUT she said "ALL yours" and I am sure the tone she gave you indicated dissaproval on her part (or why else would you have even thougth anything of it).
I think the issue some people have with having more than 2 children is they think its like the movies. The movie "Cheaper by the dozen" for example just give the wrong impression...the kids all ganged up together to cause problems. The older kids didn't seem to take part in watching the younger ones. Geez my brother took care of me and kept me in line when I was younger...and there was just 3 of us.
Chad and I were talking about large familys last night (how it would be nice and all). I mentioned to him how I thought it was so funny because one time his mom told me "I don't know why you would want another after a boy and a girl, you know?" I didn't remind her that she was talking to a 3rd child:-)
Maybe next time you should just ask someone "Why" and put it back on them. It would be interesting to hear the answers people come up with....but then again you would probably just hear something even more rude.

Amie said...

Actually, just recently I met a very pregnant lady at the library who had three little boys in tow. I just assumed she was pregnant with her fourth, but actually one of them was her neighbors boy! LOL So it does happen.

myboys9802 said...

Funny story.
Friends of mine want 6 kids. They have 3 of their on and they adopted one. The husbands co-worker said when she got pregnant with the 3rd one, you know what causes that right. He said Quote, Yes, But that wasn't working fast enough so we adopted one.

Anonymous said...

How about "Yes, though we've only been blessed with three (soon to be four) so far, we are working on an even dozen!" Say it with a smile, of course:)
Sherry S.

Wethyb said...

I don't have that problem yet, but I'd be like "duh, what do you think?". I mean, wouldn't the looks give it away?

Teena said...

I usually say something like YES they are .... and if I am brave enough I say and we would love another one. But lots of people do not ask me anymore... I guess cause I look older (be 45 in Sept) but they have asked me if they were my grandkids!! Or they think they are Mandi's! grrrr. UGH

I want to be kind too... and let them see JESUS.

Maybe by the time you get to six like me they will stop asking LOL~

Anonymous said...

Hey, it's me, Loriann. I'm so happy to hear the news of your newest blessings. I think it's awesome that you're having another baby. Don't worry about what others say. You know what's right for your family and God is blessing you for it. I'll try to call you soon. I left the Keesler group. Nothing bad, just time to move on.
God bless and I'm praying for you and your precious little baby!!