Saturday, February 13, 2010


Attempt #2...I am on Zach's computer as I await a new cord for mine and I hate this thing...does the exact same things my Dell did, so unfortunately this won't be a long post as I don't have patience for it. Every time I go to type a T a new tabbed browser pops up. How annoying!

Anyway, today is the 3 year mark since we found out Malachi was no longer living and growing in my womb. In ways it seems like yesterday and in ways it seems like forever ago. It was weird how all week I knew this day was approaching and was mentally preparing for it. Well this morning when I awoke it was almost erased from my mind. Instead, the recent young widow from my church was heavy on my heart. As I prepared to go out with Gabe doing some errands and such, God placed an idea in my head on how to bless her. It was a blast to have such a 'task' and gave me an opportunity to meet her, although I felt a bit weird, a stranger showing up on her doorstep! I just hope she knows how much I've been praying for her. Even last night when Zach asked the kids what we could pray for Josiah said, "Josiah's family". How sweet!

I still cannot believe 3 years have gone by since we got such dreaded news about our little boy. I often wonder what he would look like- would he have Gabe's silly grin or Josiah's blue eyes? What would our lives be like with another little boy tearing apart our house? I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to be Malachi's mommy, even for a short time. And as much as I miss him I am thankful he doesn't have to endure the pains and trials in this world. Jesus, please kiss my special boy for me! Mommy loves you, Malachi!


Kim said...

So sad to hear your words. Each year its seems God has mended your heart a little more. Its gotta be so tough to acknowledge this day every year. Your a strong woman (((hugs)))

I am OK said...

You set a good example. I was thinking about you last week, knowing the time was near. Your story is so unique and inspiring and still needs support and guidance. Kim is right, you do seem more healed each year. Enjoy your wonderful family. I've prayed for Malachi all week too. Lots of love. jamie