Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'm Melting

How is it that you can continually fall in love with your baby? How is it that you can be having the crummiest day, yet this baby just melts your heart and you forget for that instant all of the crummies of the day.

As I was laying with G to put him for a nap I was having quite a time. J was laying in his bed crying because I took a toy from him. It has been this kind of week! Since I am weaning G, which is going pretty well, I decided today I would cut out his naptime feeding. Oh, how hard that was for me! I love to lay there with him, feeling his body relax against mine as he suckles and finds comfort before he gives in to sleep. I didn't know how he would do. I was feeling horrible even before I told him no. Boy, did I want to give in! But, I didn't. He cried for a bit, then he laid next to me, said "Mama" and lovingly wrapped his chubby little arms around my neck and kissed me smack on the lips. Oh boy, did I melt! All of the junk from the day faded away as I laid there looking at this angel. Boy, God sure did bless me!

As the children get older (and sometimes sassier) it is easy to forget these cute toddler tendencies. So, as I lay there enjoying G I thought back to when J was this age. I have been having quite the week with J! He has gotten every last straw of mine and I am at the ropes end. But, it was so refreshing to think back to how J was when he was G's age. So sweet and cuddly. So innocent. And to remember the love I had for him. Not that he isn't sweet or cuddly now or that I don't love him. But sometimes those reminders do a world of good! They sure did at that moment. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember how blessed I am that the Lord gave me these children. It is easy for me to get caught up in the lies of the world of how burdened I am. I am a blessed woman and I will not allow Satan to feed me with his lies. Thank you, Father for these children you have given Zach and I! May I remember to thank Him, even in the midst of chaos!

1 comment:

razorbackmama said...

Oh boo hoo!!!!!!!! I hear ya!!!