Surviving

Some days I feel like I'm barely hanging on.  Other days I feel like this is a breeze and we can do it!  Today I awoke feeling great, ready to tackle the day.  Fast forward like an hour later and I changed my mind!  It is just so much work sometimes!

The flu made it through rounds with all the kids (thankfully I never did get it) and it was so nice to return to a sense of normalcy (being able to run out when needed, getting school done, etc).  Last week we really tackled a lot of school.  I'm trying to double up a lot because quite frankly I just want to be done.  I know it's only the middle of April but I have a baby to get ready for (yay) and potty training to do and I'm sure a slew of other things. 

I did finish my spring cleaning last week though.  That felt great, although I paid for it big time, being so sore and having such swollen feet and ankles!  The past two days I've tried to take it easy and not do much but its hard when you're the only adult around.  Thankfully most of my children can fend for themselves, but they still need mom!  It also helps that the weather has warmed up a bit and I can shoo them outdoors (I just wish we had more for them to play with in the backyard). 

Saturday we went to Camp Dodge, the Guard base here by us, for an awesome thing they had for (deployed) families.  It was called Operation Afghanistan Experience (since most of the families here are deployed there).  They got real dog tags (with their name on them), a cool backpack filled with all sorts of goodies, made crafts, and so much more.  It was kind of set up like what their parents goes through before they deploy.  They had to in process (where they got their dog tags).  They also had fitness.  They got to try night vision goggles.  The went to a bazaar where they took their fake money and bartered for goodies to 'buy', which were toys they could pick out.  They got real MRE's to take home, which they delightfully ate for lunch yesterday.  They got to put on some gear, check out the inside of a tent, sit in some vehicles, go to the post office and so much more.  They had a great time.  I thought it was so neat, but my feet/ankles didn't.  There was nowhere to sit (besides the floor) the whole 2+ hours we were there so I was just beat!  I'm so glad we were able to participate in that.

On another note, Friday after co-op I checked my voicemail.  I had a message from somebody I didn't even know.  Apparently one of my friends who goes to MOPS put in a prayer request for me and the MOPS people want to get together to provide us meals weekly!!!  I don't even know these women!  Our homeschool group is also going to contribute.  What a HUGE blessing!  We'll have meals coming in on Mondays AND Thursdays.  Sometimes I think, "I really don't need all this help with meals" but when I have days like today I'm reminded that yes I do- those "little" things really REALLY help!!!  I just get in tears thinking about it- how blessed we are.  I certainly pray God blesses the people who are blessing us!!!

Friday I had an appointment with my perinatologist.  Let me just tell you how much I love her!  She is amazing!  She is always so excited about the pregnancy and exclaiming over it how glad she is at how far I've come, remembering my first appointment with her when I was getting tested to see why I was 'losing' my babies.  She just will sit and talk for a good amount of time, not rush you out of her office so she can see her next patient.  She also always makes me cry tears of joy over it!  She is just super!!!!  I also got another ultrasound- Miss Naomi is 2 lb. 5 oz at 27 weeks and 2 days!!!  Unbelievable.  It seems so weird that I'm already 'that' pregnant! 

Oh how I wish the fighting amongst my kids would end.  And the constant need for things!  "I'm hungry" "Can I drink this?" "She's calling me names" etc etc.  I'm at my wits end today!  And then we have the toddler who screams at the TOP of her lungs...fun, fun!  So, if you try to get a hold of me and can't reach me just check the local mental health ward.  I'm sure you'll find me there!  (Which reminds me that I really need to call my list of potential sitters and meet them so I have some available, and set up a time every week for me to GET OUT).

I'm Back

I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long.  Then again a lot has happened since the last time I've been on my own blog!  We found out at the end of Feb. that Zach would be deploying at the end of March.  So, our whole month was crazy, crazy, crazy.  I know most of you know this all from facebook, but I also want to try to keep track of some of my life when I remember ;) 

We "knew" we'd be in the hot seat at the end of Feb. for a deployment, especially when he got out of the one last summer.  We just didn't think it'd be so soon (or at least I didn't).  I know I'm a high risk pregnancy but we didn't even try to get out of it.  We know it's our turn, after all he hasn't been deployed at all in his 12 year career.  As much as it still stinks...

So, Zach's dad came for a little visit, Zach had a conference in South Carolina and we had to make a couple of trips to Offutt AFB in Omaha.  Needless to say not much school got done and now I feel like we need to play catch up so that I'm not schooling in the summer when I want to get ready for a baby!

Zach left almost a week ago.  A week ago today we were at a hotel near Offutt AFB, as that's where he had to out process and fly out of.  Our last night together.  It was bittersweet.  The day he left was difficult.  We got passes so we could be at the gate with him, so we sat with him for the time until he boarded.  Boy oh boy, that was the most difficult thing.  It's one thing when this all affects ME but to see it affect our children...it tore me up.  Even Gabe, who doesn't cry over things of this nature, was sobbing.  It broke this mama's heart!  Abby didn't know what to think- she'd just look at us and either put her head on my shoulder or put her hands on my face and look sad and concerned.  Hannah and Josiah were crying about as hard as Gabe.  And I was trying to be strong for them...crying here and there but also trying to comfort them.  As we stood there waiting for the plane to leave an elderly lady came up to Hannah and asked, "Is your dad gone?" or something to that affect.  Hannah said yes, with tears rolling down her face.  The lady had a look of concern on her face, looked at me and said, "Thank you."  That was precious.  I don't know how she knew- he wasn't in uniform that day, but she knew.  And it meant a lot to me to have those two words to hold on to, especially as I had the 2 hour drive home.

And here I sit, my children in bed, the house all silent and miss my man so much.  It hasn't been quite the week I expected.  I'd hoped to get started on spring cleaning (which I did- my basement is spotless and I got some of my living room done).  I'd hoped to get right back into school, catching up and doubling up on some lessons.  That didn't quite fit into it all as the kids have been sick with the flu.  Go figure.  You hear that once they leave for deployment things fall apart, but I didn't seriously expect to be faced with sick children on my own right away!  Ugh!  I don't do well with puke!  Hannah and I are the only ones left to get it.  She's got a garbage can near her bed because chances are she'll wake in the middle of the night or early morning with it, just like the other three have.  Or maybe it will be me.  I am PRAYING I do not get this junk. 

Hannah's birthday is on Thursday and she has such high expectations.  I'd hate for her day to be ruined with sickness.  So, I wish if we'd get it we'd just get it already!  I also have an OB appt that day that I really don't want to miss out on.  We shall see...

We did manage to get a wonderful meal brought to us by one of my new friends, on Wednesday, the day we got home.  That was so nice, to not have to worry about cooking that day as my  mind was just frazzled with so many emotions.  Thursday evening we had another new friend and her 4 boys over to play and for dinner.  Friday we took a field trip to the Governor's mansion, Terrace Hill, with our homeschool co-op.  Saturday we tried out a new babysitter and I took Hannah to her book club.   Sunday a dear friend who I haven't seen in probably over a year went and bought some groceries for me.  Monday we received our first meal from our homeschool co-op, who will provide meals for us once a week.

In light of the icky sickies we have been blessed.  I am SO thankful to our homeschool co-op for being SO willing to not only lift us up in prayer but to provide us with meals.  I am SO thankful for friends who are SO willing to run and help us at the drop of a hat (today a dear friend/neighbor brought me some pop).  I am SO thankful for the Mommies with Hope group that wants to get together to make some freezer meals for the kids and I.  It amazes me, these people so eager to help us.  To call and ask if I need something while they're out.  To let me know they're thinking of us.  It means so much.  It's what will help get me through this next 6 months.  God is so very good to provide the friends He has.  So, thank you friends who've helped or even offered to help.  You are a tremendous blessing in light of a crazy time in my life!

Yeah, I'm blogging

Can you believe it?  I am sure lots has gone on the past few weeks worth mentioning, but I cannot think.  I'm rather sleep deprived from everyone being sick for so long.  I've had a cough, then sinus stuff, then a cold that turned into a virus that's all been going on for over a month now.  How annoying.  This past week was the worst- I was so miserable and out with a fever and all.  And it's hit everyone else in the house too- Abby is the last one to get it.  I am so beyond sickness.  Last night I ran some errands and that was my first time out of the house, aside from the doctors, in a week or two!  Crazy!  It's hard not to be discouraged.  I'm trying to not do too much so I can continue to get better (I still have a horrible cough).  But my house is falling by the wayside- you should see the dust just caked on my tv stand.  It drives me CRAZY! 

I also had a weird scare last week where I went to the bathroom and there was blood (it was in my urine).  It was about 4:30 so my OB's office was about to close and they weren't helpful at all.  I went the the walk-in clinic and they weren't going to see me (because I wasn't for sure it was blood in my urine, I was a bit worried it could be the baby).  They told me they couldn't check on the baby at all but they could check if I had an infection.  When I went to the bathroom at the doctors office my urine looked like fruit punch or something (sorry if TMI).  Under the microscope it appeared I had a UTI so they gave me antibiotics and I went on my way, a bit relieved that is what it was and not the baby.  I still was a bit concerned about baby though and later that evening (amidst a snowstorm) a friend (a gal I met from Mommies with Hope) brought me over her heartbeat monitor to borrow.  I couldn't find the heartbeat, but I never have used one before.  I had an OB appointment the next morning anyway, so I wasn't too worried (and the dr. picked up the hb right away). 

Well, I'm going about my week last week, getting worse and worse with my "cold" when I get a call saying the culture came back from the UTI and I didn't have one.  What?  So I have NO idea what that was all about!  I know that morning I totally freaked out for some reason (before the blood incident), fearing for the baby and really having a huge meltdown.  Part of me wonders if I don't have or I'm not getting kidney stones again?  I don't know.

I think I need a new body!  This one is just not working right!  At least it seems to be holding and growing little baby well.  I am 19 weeks today and Friday I have my ultrasound.  I can't wait!!!  It seems most people these days are having boys so now part of me wonders what if this is a boy after all.  I honestly don't care either way, I just want a healthy baby, but I have sometimes referred to the baby as Naomi already!

School is going pretty well.  We're about to hit our 100th lesson!!  Woohoo!!!!  I'm really looking forward to summer break though.  Winter is getting old.  So is this sickness! 

Catch up

I've began a blog post so many times, only to be like, "What do I really want to blog about?"  I just haven't been in the blogging mood.  Part of it was that I was hiding something and I didn't want to let it slip!  lol  I'm sure most of you, if not all, are on facebook and saw our announcement that we're going to have a baby in July!  We are beyond thrilled!  I am 16 weeks today, praise GOD!  It was so difficult through the morning sickness stages, let me tell you!  And even more difficult was not being able to say, "I feel awful today."  That is also a good thing though, as I think about so many of my friends who desire nothing more than to have a baby and I know what a slap in the face a little comment such as that can be...how you'd give anything to feel awful for that very reason- a baby growing within!  So, it was a good thing!  We had many frozen meals or fast food meals for awhile there, but now I'm back to my cookin' ways!  At my 12 week ultrasound my mom was able to come, as she flew in for Christmas!  That was very special!  The lady said the baby looks like a girl, and again yesterday at an appointment the doctor said that he didn't "see anything hanging" so we're thinking this baby is a girl.  I almost feel more relieved, considering that at least the two babies in heaven were boys...I feel like maybe my body can't carry a boy anymore for some reason.  I honestly don't know...just wonder.  I've been going to the doctor every 2 weeks to check the heartbeat for awhile now and will continue to do so until about 20 weeks.  It sure is reassuring!  On the other hand, it is hard to sleep the night before because I wonder and anticipate that appointment.  I hold my breath waiting for the doctor to find the heartbeat.  Yesterday he found it right away!!!  And I think from here on out I'll feel much better about it all, I just had to get past the 14-15 week mark (in my mind).  So, that's the excitement around here!

Other than that life is pretty much just normal.  School, housework, the norm.  We don't have anything real exciting going on that I can think of.  I guess I'll touch on something from each child and share that (more for my own record than to bore you all).

Hannah began going to a girl's book club on Saturday.  There are about 6-8 girls that will attend.  I think it will be wonderful for her.  She loves to read and loves to socialize!  Also, she'll be introduced to some books we may not have otherwise heard of or picked up.  She's pretty excited about it! 

Josiah and I had a really rough week together last week.  So Sunday we went out.  I got my eyebrows waxed (fun for him, haha) and we went to Kohl's.  He's such a trooper coming with me to shop!  Then I asked him if he wanted to get ice cream at Culver's or share a cake a Chili's and told him it's his decision.  He opted for Chili's and we shared a lemonade and cake and just had some nice conversation.  When I was asking him about the baby he was telling me how he's excited and he doesn't care if it is a girl or boy, he just wants the baby to be safe and healthy.  Such a sweetie!

Gabriel is really excelling in school!  I just am so floored by what he does!  He reads so well, sometimes he shocks me!  He does wonderfully in math!  He doesn't always sit still when I read history or science to them, but that's probably partly the age and partly his personality.  I'm just proud of how well he does, even when he may not be looking forward to doing school.

Abby has been falling asleep with Hannah in her bed for about four nights in a row.  It is so precious.  One night she stayed there all night.  Last night she ended up with a fever and slept real close to Mama.  I really need to start getting her in her OWN bed, especially before the baby arrives!  Right now she's upstairs fussing, so I'm hoping she will stay there with Hannah...not sure how it will work tonight!

Snow and school

We had our first snow yesterday and boy...what a storm!  We didn't get much snow at all (this coming from a Yooper girl), but once the wind picked up it was just blowing everywhere.  I couldn't sleep last night, I could just hear the wind howling.  I thought for sure our roof would blow off or a window would break, it was seriously that windy.  When I stood by the front door to look out I could feel snow coming in from above the door.  We told our builders about this within the first year of living here but they sure didn't fix it.  Makes me all the more ready to move out of this house. 

We haven't been up to much of anything.  The kids had their Christmas program Friday night and that was really cute- they did a great job!  I am amazed how well they remembered the songs- even knowing them when I'd practice with them!  Thursday night I went and decorated Christmas ornaments with Mommies with Hope (you can read more about that on my other blog).  We're supposed to have our Christmas party for small group this coming week but I'm not sure we'll be able to go as we can't find a sitter.  All of our sitters (like 2 of them) have church things on Wed. nights.  I really hope we can go, I was looking forward to it.  Then next Saturday I think we have a Christmas party for Zach's work.  It's crazy that I have no details other than it's on that day and that's the same day as the commissioning.  I really hope to find out more at the beginning of this week....I am one who likes to know these type of things in advance.  Do I have to make something?  Find a sitter?  And my mom comes in like 9 DAYS!!!  I can't wait!!! 

As I was lying in bed last night thinking about how winter is here I was trying to think back to summer and the warm temps and I couldn't really remember much of summer.  It is such a haze!  I was just in a fog, getting through each day was a major accomplishment!  I can't wait until about April/May when the snow will start going away (I know we just started to get it, but I hate the cold). 

I think this week will be our last week of school for the year.  Since my mom comes the following week I'll want to get ready for her visit and I figure we can do Christmas projects and baking that week.  We've cruised right along in school so far and I'm thankful for how far we've come!!!  Hannah and Gabe are both on like Chapter 11 in their math books!  They're just cruising!  We're all on about lesson 75 in English.  Josiah didn't do well this last week on his English test so I think this week will just be review of that chapter (plus I hate to start a new chapter when we'll be having a long break).  I'll probably do the same with Hannah.  I'm reading them the book, 'The Best Christmas Pageant Ever' and they love it.  Can you believe I've never read that book before!?!?  We're almost done with it so then I'll have to dig out another one of our Christmas books to read.  Speaking of reading, I have many books on my list to read but I haven't been in much of a reading mood.  I wanted to get a book out yesterday but I'm not sure I have any 'easy' readers for myself and that's the kind I'm wanting.  Ok, off to browse my library in the basement...

Disturbed

It seems like there's been such madness in the South since we left over 2 years ago!  I keep hearing about this or that and lately it's just been very unsettling to me.  One of the most major things that's been heavy on my heart is the amount of divorce going on in our old church.  It really, really saddens me to hear of people we fellowshipped with, sat in church with, etc divorcing.  I'm just in shock.  And I can't help but wonder if the leaders of the church are doing anything about it, trying to work with the couples to keep them together?  Of course, I don't know all the surrounding circumstances (I don't know any details and that is fine), but it really just breaks my heart.  Is my marriage easy?  By no means!  I've been such a grouch with Zach off and on lately, just my own funk, but that doesn't mean we'd ever get divorced!!!  By no means!  Sometimes he really irritates me, but does that mean we get divorced?  No!  We've been through some tough times together...I mean just losing three babies, but does that mean we throw in the towel?  Nope.  Our baby's losses have drawn us closer.  Of course, we don't have abuse or adultery in our marriage- thankfully!  Like I said, I don't know the circumstances, it just makes me so sad.

And I know it's everywhere...even very common in the church these days.  I have to say though, that looking back to our friends and churches in NC and ND there hasn't been nearly as much divorce, thankfully! 

This morning I had the thought, "I'm going to blog about that today" but now I have no idea what that was in reference to!  I need to just write or type myself a note so I can remember once I finally have a chance to blog.  Today Gabe was a bit sick.  He woke up this morning and came in my room saying he didn't feel well and he just laid there for quite awhile.  He couldn't eat breakfast, said his stomach and head hurt.  I gave him some Tylenol and he laid around most of the morning.  Then he seemed to perk up and got dressed, made his bed (and his brother's), and even ate lunch so in the afternoon I had him do his schoolwork.  He seems fine now, thankfully!  Maybe the more this thing trickles down the less severe it is- I got the worst but I'd rather it be me than them!  Abby's been fine, but her appetite still isn't right and today she had quite a few nasty diapers!


Last night I had the craziest dreams.  The first one was more like a nightmare.  I must have woken up and there were spiders in the corner of the ceiling and they were spinning webs across my room and I just freaked out.  I came downstairs to get Zach and when we went back upstairs there were spiders in another corner too.  It sounds funny now, but it was seriously terrifying- especially when I was laying in the very spots they were above!  Two even came on my headboard!  EWWWW  (Sadie, I know you love this dream!  lol). 


The other dream I had was of me at a doctors office.  I think they were doing a vaginal ultrasound and it was right around all these windows!!!!  All these med students came in and it was just really weird.  I was even freaking out on my way home about driving home in snow!!??  Weird to remember both dreams in one night- I haven't remembered one in quite some time.

On a totally different note, I've been using quite a few Pampered Chef recipes lately.  Do you know you can find them online?  Here I keep buying their cookbooks!  The last few things I've made from there consist of putting the skillet in the oven!  It's so easy and yet delicious!  Speaking of food, I really need to make a menu up and figure out our Thanksgiving menu.  I guess it's just us...I should invite some people over but I just assume most have family around to go to.  I did invite a friend's sister who is alone in Des Moines, but I'm not sure she'll come!  I really want to open my home to people who have nowhere to go (maybe college students at church).  That always meant a lot to me when I was in college.  Hmm, maybe I need to contact my church about this...

Two funnies

Gabe: uh oh I think I'm gonna have diarrhea, as he's sitting on the toilet and grunting

Me: are you ok?

He then is done and I ask of his poop (to make sure it wasn't what he said): is it hard or soft

Gabe: I don't know I didn't feel it

Me still lol'ing....I sure hope he didn't FEEL it!!!!!
 
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has a little 2 year old ham in the house. I asked her what she wanted to eat for a snack and she pointed to a part on mommy where she used to get her milk from and said, "Mmmm"

Complaining

You'd think my children would be grateful that we're barely doing any school this week, yet they can't stop complaining about the measly work I give them.  So maybe I should keep piling it on!?!?  I'm so frustrated with them!  Be happy I'm doing you a favor and not piling on additional work this week since we missed 3 days last week!  I tell ya, a Mom sometimes just can't win.  On another note, why are they in and out, up and down and so loud at naptime!?!?  Yesterday they were so good and I actually fell asleep too.  Today they're driving me up the wall and already woke up Abby after only sleeping for 40 minutes!!!  I'm praying she fell back to sleep.  Seriously, I'm at a loss here!  I'm being 'nice', not making them do school during naptime and this is the thanks I get!?!?  On another note, I began potty training yesterday.  We've had some successes and some accidents.  It is funny though, because twice now when I've put a diaper on Abby and she starts to pee she freaks out and looks down at her legs, thinking there's pee trickling down them but it's contained in her diaper!  So, I think she's kinda getting it...at least knowing when she has to pee before it happens!  I just want to write off this day though.  I want to crawl back into bed and sleep away.  I have to take the boys to the dentist this afternoon.  Josiah needs a tooth pulled and Gabe needs sealants.  More money that we don't have down the tubes.  Why do all these things happen before Christmas!?!?  We have eye dr. appointments in a few weeks and I really need some new glasses (and I'm praying the kids won't need new ones) but how will I afford them?  Ok, enough complaining...I'm sleepy.

A new fave

When I was sick and talked to the doctor they said to drink this.  It's my new favorite drink.  Much healthier than pop!  I'm thankful because I've also been trying to stop drinking pop.  I've only tried the grape and one other kind.  I don't remember what that was because I was too sick to care.  I like the grape kind. 

Here I am!

I'm feeling back to myself again, thankfully!  I'm even more thankful that so far nobody seems to have gotten it still.  Which is kind of weird.  I was so very sick.  How did I get it and not them?  I'm glad it was me and not them, though!

Last night I went to see the movie, Like Dandelion Dust, with my friend, Sadie.  It is based on the book by Karen Kingsbury.  Oh boy, what a tear jerker.  There were a few points where I just could not stop the tears and was crying so hard.  Then at the end I felt like I could just pour out rivers, but it was all stuck- my throat and stomach hurt!  I love girly movies like that!  lol

Today I need to catch up on laundry and I just want to try to relax.  I also have the second and third books of the Hunger Games series from the library so I need to begin and finish those in three weeks.  I know once I get into them I won't want to put them down, so my goal is to get started today!  Zach is gone fishing so we'll see how much reading I get done though!

Did I ever mention that I think we 'finally' became members of our church?  Remember that whole fiasco?  Well, we never heard anything and finally Zach asked this guy who'd sat in on our testimony if he knew anything.  The guy said that the Sunday night before they'd read names but he couldn't remember the names read.  Well, then last week I received an email from our church, just a missionary update.  I've never before received emails from church so figured we must be 'in'.  I'm not sure how I feel about it!  lol  It was almost a huge headache to 'join', ya know?  Then yesterday I received another email, one the Pastor sends out to members.  So I guess it's official.  Speaking of churches, I am very sad to see so many people from our church in Mississippi divorcing.  What on earth!?!?  Why are the leaders of churches just allowing this to happen and not trying to step in and help?  It is so devastating. 

Some of you probably read this on facebook yesterday.  We went to co-op.  Gabe had gotten hit in the stomach with a soccer ball and was crying.  I told him I saw a boy in Hannah's class get hit in his private area and he didn't cry.  So, on the way home Gabe told his brother and sister, "A boy got hit in the crotch with a ball and didnt' cry."  Josiah's response was, "Did it break?"  Oh man, I busted out laughing!!!

Well, I should switch out the laundry and make the bed and shower and...relax!

Yucky

And the flu has hit!  GREAT!!!  I haven't gotten out of bed yet unless it's been to run to the bathroom!  I am praying really hard that my kids don't get it!  This is miserable- and it's been awhile since I've had the flu. 

Cuteness

It was so cute- I was getting ready for bed tonight and came out of my bathroom to this site!  Abby had climbed into my spot on the bed and opened up my computer and was 'typing' away!  I love her!

As I took the picture above off of Hannah's memory card I also found this picture of Abby.  Big sister playing dress up with little sister again!

Trying not to freak out

I'm really trying to not freak out.  Our finances are such a mess.  We've been so broke the past couple of months.  Zach has needed tires for his car so got two with the last paycheck and he still needs two more!  Christmas is coming up.  We're only going to be able to spend $50 on each child this year, which in some ways seems like a lot of money but considering how expensive everything is it's not much.  And I know Christmas is more than presents, but I hate not being able to afford to give my children things, ya know?  Then yesterday we got our statement for our what our new payment will be now that our taxes are kicking in.  It is not pretty, folks.  It's almost double of what we're currently paying.  Zach wonders why I worry and says he doesn't worry at all.  He also doesn't do the bills!  So please pray for us.  Pray for wisdom as I really somehow need to grasp what to do with our  money- how to stretch it better.  I've even considered doing childcare in my home or something but I seriously don't know how I would do that!  I know we get a pay raise in January but I doubt it will be much.  UGH, I hate dealing with money!!!  On the other hand, there have been instances where God has really been blessing us at the same time!  He is so good and I know He'll never leave us destitute or hungry.  I know He is trying to grow my trust in Him even more, but boy it is stretching in SO many ways!

Bleh

The throat is scratchy.  The ear feels like somethings draining.  A bit of a cough.  This time of the year stinks.  I just want to put on my pj's and crawl back into bed and do nothing.  But I'm washing bedding and was hoping to break out the winter coats today and get those washed up.  That won't happen.  Somehow we have so much laundry (I just did it on Thursday).  I'm hoping maybe I can forgo my normal Monday wash day and just do the winter things then.  We'll see how much I get done today!  At least it's this weekend I feel so cruddy because next weekend I'm going to an overnight retreat!!!  I am really looking forward to that.

Un-believe-able

So, since I finally started my new blog I can blog about other things here.  Not that I couldn't in the first place.  Be sure to check that one too though, as I'll still post there every day in October.  Anyway, I can't believe this is our 7th or 8th week of school.  Wow!  Time is just FLYING!  It seems like our school year JUST started!  I guess that's a good sign?  I'm surprised how well the kids are doing.  Not like every day is perfect- nothing like that.  I'm just amazed how much they remember from last year. 

Especially Gabe...I wasn't sure what he'd remember from last year and we've just been able to breeze through a lot of stuff.  Of course the beginning of the year is review, but I'm still surprised.  He doesn't always have a good attitude when it comes time to do school (he whines most of the time about it), but he does real well when he sits and does it.  I've had to continually work with him on his handwriting and writing his letters correctly, but I think maybe he's finally getting it.

Josiah finished school first today!  I have no idea how on earth that happened!!!  I think he was pretty proud of himself.  He has to write a letter this week and he's writing to his Grandpa Larry about going to the pumpkin patch.  He's been doing real well also.  We're reading an Abeka reader (it maybe be later 2nd grade level) about what life was like in Jesus' time and it's so interesting to us both!

Hannah still has a hard time coming up with adding details to her writing.  It can tend to be boring and I feel I have to keep prodding her.  I don't know what to do to get her to think of ideas by herself!  She always likes to be the one done 'first' or before lunchtime.  I think she just likes to have her afternoons free, although even if she is done with her work before lunch we still have history or science afterwards.

I'm memorizing scripture with them all and am amazed at how well they remember the verses!  In history we've been watching a lot of videos on Jamestown, John Smith and Pocahontas.  Interesting!  We went to the zoo on Friday for science and did some Zoobooks so we'll work on those a bit more tomorrow.  I love the hands-on stuff.  I was going to sign us up for a Homeschool Safari at the zoo but they charge like $8 a student (that's with a zoo membership, its more if you're not a member)!  Also, they don't allow the parents to sit in on the class.  I don't like that- I'd want to sit and listen to what they're learning too.  So, forget it!

I'm hoping the rest of our school year goes this quickly but I think once the snow falls things will slow down.  Oh well, at least for now its flying!  The kids are also enjoying the co-op we joined (as am I). 

Revealing

As I lie in bed last night I was bummed that I didn't blog yesterday!!!  I wanted to hit every day this month with a post!  Oh well, ya can't win 'em all!  Anyway, without further ado, here is the link to my new blog: http://theyaresafelyhome.blogspot.com/.  Feel free to share it with anybody as it is not private.  I hope that God will use it for His glory.

Remembering our Babies

Friday was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day.  This is what we did at 7 pm to remember our babies:

Four simple words

"How are you doing?"

Just four simple words.  Words we ask so flippantly, so often.  Yet words that can really mean so much to a person who is hurting.  Just yesterday as I was driving to the store I was pondering these words.  We tend to ask this question of people often, expecting their simple answer of, "fine, good, ok".  When we ask this, are we really, really wanting to know how people are doing?  It's such a formality.  And that is ok.  I am known to do this quite often!  I think also, our tone of voice can depict how we truly mean this question, as can our surroundings.  Passing an acquaintance in a store, we may say hello, ask how they're doing and move on to buy our items. 

So often people ask, "Hey Jamie, how are you doing?"  I am honest and answer "Okay."  I'm not good, not bad, just "Okay."  But we don't have a chance to elaborate, or feel we can.  Does that make sense?  I'm guilty of this just as much as the next guy.  Do I really want to know how she's doing when I ask her?  It's something we really need to think about.  It's something we need to practice- to truly care about how they're doing.

Last night I went to a Mom's Night Out with the women from our homeschool co-op.  I think most women there last night at least 'know of' my recent loss.  As the night wore on I was able to sit by K, a woman who grieves in a whole different way.  You see she has one child.  She tried for 5 years for this child and was blessed.  Since then they've desired more children but the Lord has not yet blessed her womb.  She grieves for the babies she hasn't yet been able to carry.  She can empathize, in a sense, my grief.  So, as our group began to break down into little conversations around the room she turned to me and asked, "How are you doing?" in the most sincere, caring voice, truly wanting to know the answer.  I answered.  I thanked her.  And I praised God for hearing the thoughts I'd had earlier in the day!

Strong Enough

It is so weird.  I've been going through old posts to add to my new blog.  While I try not to read things, I do catch bits and pieces so I know what is appropriate for that blog.  Well, so many of them sound the same as they do now!  I experienced the same things with each baby lost as I do now.  It just seems crazy to me. 

I told Zach I want to do something special on my 'due date', though at this point I haven't come up with anything concrete.  I do have ideas though.  Do you have any thoughts or ideas for me?  I was just talking to my mom today about the holidays.  Here I'm so set on trying to get through my 'due date' that I can't even think about the approaching holidays.  But today I was thinking about how hard Thanksgiving will be...and a fleeting thought of Christmas.  My mom is thinking about possibly coming for Christmas.  I think that would be wonderful.  I think it would "help" me so much to have her here!  Nothing like a mama's company, right?  But, like I said I really can't even "go" there. 

I'm so very thankful I don't have to rely on my own strength to get through these times.  I'm so glad I have a Rock, Anchor, Fortress, Strong Tower that I can ran to!  Speaking of strength, these are the lyrics to Matthew West's new song 'Strong Enough'.  It couldn't really sum it up any better.  This is the story behind the song.  You can listen to this song here.

You must



You must think I'm strong


To give me what I'm going through






Well, forgive me


Forgive me if I'm wrong


But this looks like more than I can do


On my own






I know I'm not strong enough to be


everything that I'm supposed to be


I give up


I'm not strong enough


Hands of mercy won't you cover me


Lord right now I'm asking you to be


Strong enough


Strong enough


For the both of us






Well, maybe


Maybe that's the point


To reach the point of giving up






Cause when I'm finally


Finally at rock bottom


Well, that's when I start looking up


And reaching out






I know I'm not strong enough to be


Everything that I'm supposed to be


I give up


I'm not strong enough


Hands of mercy won't you cover me


Lord right now I'm asking you to be


Strong enough


Strong enough






Cause I'm broken


Down to nothing


But I'm still holding on to the one thing


You are God


and you are strong


When I am weak






I can do all things


Through Christ who gives me strength


And I don't have to be


Strong enough


Strong enough






I can do all things


Through Christ who gives me strength


And I don't have to be


Strong enough


Strong enough






Oh, yeah






I know I'm not strong enough to be


Everything that I'm supposed to be


I give up


I'm not strong enough


Hands of mercy won't you cover me


Lord right now I'm asking you to be


Strong enough


Strong enough


Strong enough