Friday, October 15, 2010

Four simple words

"How are you doing?"

Just four simple words.  Words we ask so flippantly, so often.  Yet words that can really mean so much to a person who is hurting.  Just yesterday as I was driving to the store I was pondering these words.  We tend to ask this question of people often, expecting their simple answer of, "fine, good, ok".  When we ask this, are we really, really wanting to know how people are doing?  It's such a formality.  And that is ok.  I am known to do this quite often!  I think also, our tone of voice can depict how we truly mean this question, as can our surroundings.  Passing an acquaintance in a store, we may say hello, ask how they're doing and move on to buy our items. 

So often people ask, "Hey Jamie, how are you doing?"  I am honest and answer "Okay."  I'm not good, not bad, just "Okay."  But we don't have a chance to elaborate, or feel we can.  Does that make sense?  I'm guilty of this just as much as the next guy.  Do I really want to know how she's doing when I ask her?  It's something we really need to think about.  It's something we need to practice- to truly care about how they're doing.

Last night I went to a Mom's Night Out with the women from our homeschool co-op.  I think most women there last night at least 'know of' my recent loss.  As the night wore on I was able to sit by K, a woman who grieves in a whole different way.  You see she has one child.  She tried for 5 years for this child and was blessed.  Since then they've desired more children but the Lord has not yet blessed her womb.  She grieves for the babies she hasn't yet been able to carry.  She can empathize, in a sense, my grief.  So, as our group began to break down into little conversations around the room she turned to me and asked, "How are you doing?" in the most sincere, caring voice, truly wanting to know the answer.  I answered.  I thanked her.  And I praised God for hearing the thoughts I'd had earlier in the day!

1 comment:

Kim said...

Its funny how when you are asked that question and you really arent "OK" how we say that anyway. That is just awesome how you had those thoughts earlier in the day and then you talk to someone who genuinely really cares how you are doing. Kinda makes you feel just so much better for someone to take that time out to see if you are well, huh?