Last night my dear Abby would not fall asleep. She was so tired that she just could not stop crying. Finally I laid her in my arm and began to sing 'Jesus Loves Me'. I made it through the song two times before I just lost it and she crashed at last. I realized I will never get to hold little Nathaniel in my arms and sing songs to him and put him to sleep with my horrible singing voice. I just sobbed and sobbed as I held her in my arms. Today I went to my friend's house. Her baby is 7 weeks old. Abby just adores him. She was so eager to hold him, give him his pacifier. It just breaks my heart to see her missing out on having a baby brother. I found out yesterday a good friend of mine here is having a baby boy. She lives down the street from me and our daughter's play often. It's going to be another piece 'missing' when she has her baby- to think our boys could have played together also. Sigh. As my due date approaches I cringe. I'm so scared for that day to come. To think tomorrow I "would" be 37 weeks. I'd be huge, uncomfortable and anxious to meet my baby. Sigh.