Saturday, October 02, 2010

It's all a bit confusing

So, I am updating you on my doctor appointment I had the other day.  It still all confuses me a bit, so I'll do my best.  Some of you probably received an email about it, but I wanted to post it here also, just in case I forgot someone who actually may read my blog (I have no idea who you are because you people don't comment)!!! 

I was tested for antiphospholipid antibodies.  Apparently there are 4 of them that relate to pregnancy.  One is called Cardiolipin and I tested borderline for it.  Therefore it wasn't quite positive but also wasn't negative.  It means I could test positive for it in the future, but not necessarily.  I also had an ANA screen done (Anti-Nuclear Antibody).  My number was like 1.160 or something.  Being that it is that isn't quite a concern, it becomes a concern when its like 1.600.  But being that it is the number it is also alerts the doctor that something is going on.  So, because I haven't tested positive at this time to these tests I don't need to take blood thinners while I'm pregnant (if I become pregnant), but as soon as I become pregnant I need to take a baby aspirin.  Something about it causes pregnancies to stick in women that have the same results as myself.  Nine out of ten pregnancies turn out great.  That 1 does concern me, but...

Here is a part I forgot to mention in the email (and probably the most important part, to me).  Before I went to my appointment I was at homeschool park day.  I was talking to a few women about my appointment and the one woman shared how she lost two babies, got tested, couldn't remember what the diagnosis was called, told us she took a baby aspirin and got pregnant with her son.  Then the name popped out of her mouth- the same thing!!!!  Really?  REALLY!!!  What are the chances!?!?  I was on the way home from my appointment and just kept saying, "God you're so weird" through my tears.  It's a 'relief' to know sorta what I 'have' or what's going on but it also stinks that it really is something wrong with my body!  I mean seriously, what are the chances that a woman you're talking to an hour BEFORE your appointment blurts out the same name!!! 

Since I have shared this with people I've had a lot of responses from people who know somebody or have something similar.  I've gotten a lot of advice, some saying to get a second opinion and some saying to request the blood thinners anyway, etc.  I've also been asked if I was really going to try to get pregnant again (to which I responded, "Well, we don't prevent anything and I DO want a baby."  Zach and I really haven't had a chance to discuss it much, but my 'gut' right now is telling me I need to stick with what the doctor is saying.  I've heard of women (through Mommies with Hope) who took the baby aspirin and it didnt' work for them and they lost their baby.  I need to remember that it's different for each of us.  It will be hard not to compare me to them.  I will worry if I get pregnant.  And it's not like I want to lose another baby, I can't imagine that again, but at the same time if it did happen at least then we'd know the next step, if that makes sense. 

I'm still in shock.  I can't believe that after all this time, after these losses and this grief that I have an idea of what is going on. 


Kim said...

Wow God works in mysterious ways. Is that so ironic that lady was telling you about the same thing she had before you knew you had it too? Kinda like God was telling you this is what you need to hear.

I am OK said...

I am glad to hear you were able to find a little hope in findings. I sure hope God leads you in the direction you deserve! always praying - Jamie