Saturday, January 30, 2010


Wow, what a terrible week I had! It was just awful! Every single day. As I thought about it yesterday at my breaking point I realized it was total spiritual warfare. Here last weekend I'd bought a devotional book, all ready to delve into the Word of God and GROW and then my week was like that? To me it was just no coincidence.

Josiah was sick one to two days, Gabriel's behavior had me pulling out my hair and I was not looking forward to the weekend as I knew Zach would be gone all weekend. Wednesday he worked late and then we had Bible study so I felt like we didn't 'connect' at all. Thursday he got home a tad bit early, we grabbed a bite to eat and did some grocery shopping. He bought the kids a new Wii game and I was mad about it and had an attitude. So of course, we got home and the kids were allowed to stay up later. I really felt like i needed a break or I'd break, especially with him being gone all weekend, but he wanted to see the kids before he left. I wanted to spend time with him and also wanted the kids in bed! I was soooo crabby. I just wanted some time without kids, ya know? So, things didn't go too well before he left. I HATE that!

It didn't help too that I *knew* that time of month was approaching and so my hormones were just out of whack! Yesterday was just awful...the worst day and I didn't think it could get worse than what Wednesday was! Hannah was now sick, Abby was clingy, I wanted to clean the house and do school. By the time dinnertime came around things were ok, but that was after I just sat on the floor crying, crying out to God and saying "I don't want to be this type of Mom."

Once the kids were in bed I spent some time reading my Bible and just sitting quietly. I really needed that. This morning I feel so much better. Maybe part of it is that I know we don't have the 'stress' of school or maybe its just my attitude. Or maybe its that my kids are being babysat in front of the TV? I don't know, but I do feel more peaceful. You know, sometimes you just need to hit that breaking point and surrender it all to Him.

I'm hoping to run and get a few items from the store today and hit the library but we'll see how the day goes. Right now its 11 am and we're all still in our PJ's and Abby's napping. Totally relaxing! Thank you Jesus!


Kim said...

Aww Hope it gets better. I totally understand you. I had one of those days today too. Sometimes I just wish I get a break from my kids. I go shopping and have to take them w/ me to where they misbehave and I cant take time to look at anything w/out them acting out. Hope you get some quiet time tonight.

I am OK said...

I hope the rough spot ends soon. I can certainly relate. Last week I was so miserable with Scott. I didn't exactly exude grace about him going TDY this week. I let him get one plane thinking that his job is ruining my life. And then I too was crying out. We're snowed in today and watching Nick Jr. I am loving it. But yesterday my bad attitude had Cooper all is a tizzy. I am doing a study on Mary and hoping that will help me reign in that negativity and keep it quite. Grace, I need more grace.