Ok, so it's not just that I prayed a prayer as a girl, asking Jesus into my heart. It is so much more than that and I feel I need to explain. Once I made the commitment to follow Jesus I turned away from the life I once lived, a life of sin. Does that mean I'm now sinless and perfect? By no means for "No one is perfect, not even one". It means I'm conscious of my sins and try to walk in the light of Jesus. It also means I have a relationship with Him. I can't simply just say I believe in Him, but there also has to be fruit. Now, I'd hope that for the last 23 years there's been good fruit in my life! If not then I am not walking with Jesus. He is not just my Lord and Savior, He is my friend. When, as a girl, I desired a daddy to spend time with me so much, Jesus turned into my Daddy, my Heavenly Daddy. How do I grow in Him? I pray to Him. I need to pray more, though. One of my downfalls is that I tend to run to people with my problems instead of God. I also read the Holy Bible, the Words written by Him but penned by men He ordained. I study it. I attend church where I can learn more about Him, take place in corporate worship and have fellowship with other believers. I've fallen through the years, many times hard, but I know I am secure in my salvation in Him. My salvation doesn't give me the right to sin, but the grace He gives covers my sin. The past few months have been some of the lowest of my life and I've questioned God repeatedly in light of my grief. Nobody knows grief like God though, for He watched His only Son die on the cross the most brutal death. His only Son. For OUR sins.
And one of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. This is so true. As difficult as it is, we can't just trust in God in our good times, the times we're on the mountaintop. We also need to trust in Him in the valleys, in the most difficult times of our lives. He will always, always see us through if we allow Him to work through us. I believe that with all of my heart, even though it's not always the easy thing to do.