Gone

So, I think we thought it would still take awhile for everything to happen. My mom was driving down and Zach decided to run home and meet the kids there, get them ready for bed. Thanks SO much Sadie for staying the night with them and watching them ALL day! I know they were in good hands and know they had a blast. Well, I was given a dose of Cytotec again after Zach left, my mom was nearing Des Moines and my epidural was working but also starting to wear off a bit. For some reason I ended up throwing up that dose of Cytotec. So, they were going to give more and also some anti-nausea medicine. When I have any type of procedure done I just get so chilled and shaky. I was like that off and on the entire time I was there. I wasn't necessarily always cold, but boy did I hate being that way! Well, I was 'shivering' so the nurse went to get some heated blankets (I love those things). She went to remove my other blankets and put the heated ones right on top of me and exclaimed, "OH, you delivered your baby!" I was like, "WHAT?" I sat right up and there was my tiny baby right between my legs, lying there so lifeless, so helpless, so perfect. It is kind of a blur at this point. I know I talked to Zach and my mom, letting them both know I'd 'had' the baby. The doctor was called and came in. They determined it was a boy- it was so obvious. I was crying, just staring at my son laying there so helplessly. I took a couple of pictures. I was in pain as by this point the epidural really wore off and the placenta still hadn't come out. I was trying to push on my stomach. The nurses would also, but boy it HURT when they did it. My mom showed up. I hated that she had to see me in pain but I really wanted her there. She got to see the baby. Zach showed up. The doctor tried to remove the placenta with forceps but couldn't so it was decided I needed a "D&C". Not really the "D" part since I was already dilated. It took forever to get that done because we had to wait for the doctor to finish a c-section and we had to wait for an available room. I was just hurting so bad, moving my legs all around to try to ease the pain and moaning. My mom left and came home to sit with the kids.

On a separate note I think I totally forgot to mention about 'visitors' that day. Our pastor stopped by which was nice. The hospital chaplain came in. His name was Eric. He sat with us, talked a bit. He was so understanding. I'm sure he deals with situations like this quite often. He said some things to me that showed that he really understood and cared. I cried. What a blessing. Also, Sadie & Jenn brought the kids up briefly. Then Zach took the kids out to the playground for a few minutes and S & J prayed for me. That was so special.

Ok, so finally I was set to go back and get the D&C. By then Nancee had left and I had a different nurse. She was so young looking! I was thinking, "Oh boy...how will this go?" I just wanted Nancee! As it was Nancee had stayed 1/2 hour to an hour over her shift!

I hate those operating rooms. So bright. So cold. The anesthesiologist was there and told me he decided to put me to sleep. That was fine with me. I couldn't imagine being awake for that! I remember them covering my left arm with a heated blanket because I just was shivering. They put the pulse sox on my finger and I was moving my head to make sure the 'cord' wasn't behind it. That's the last thing I remember. It's so weird when they put you to sleep!