More of my thoughts

I'm reading this fiction book I picked up from a garage sale. It's pretty good, but also a bit trashy in a few spots. Anyway, all these women in the book are having babies and surprisingly that doesn't bother me. One of the ladies babies died when he was 10 weeks old and so it also shares her story in that (I had NO idea about that when I picked up the book). Anyway, so Lia is hanging out with these three other women, all first time mothers. At one point she's asked if it bothers her (with the babies there) and she hit the nail on the head by saying something like, "It's not my friend's babies that bother me but sometimes a strangers." Wow! How true that is! It's not my friends babies or pregnant bellies that bother me but sometimes I see a stranger who is pregnant and my blood almost boils! When I took the kids to the library days ago so many women there were pregnant. I just wanted to scream out, "I should be in your group too!!!" At this point seeing babies doesn't make me mad, just sad for what I'm not going to have.

The other night when I got my pedicure with my friend/neighbor it was so good to just talk. She doesn't have children. She's been married 4 years and hasn't been able to get pregnant yet. I know some of you can relate. It was almost like she could understand my pain, although hers is a different kind of loss. Just saddens me that those of us who want to be mothers sometimes can't be and those who shouldn't be mothers are having babies!