Life

I was thinking last night I had something to blog about and do you really think I can remember what it is now! I hate that!

Zach took the day off today. I managed to do school with the kids and Zach went out and weed eated. He found a nest of 7 bunnies and the kids had so much fun playing with them! Poor things must be so cold- its freezing out there! I just hope Mama comes back to take care of them! So, we had science for the day :)

Last night I couldn't fall asleep so I was just praying and thanking God for all of His blessings. Then I was thinking about the baby and how blessed I feel to have another one. With 4 children as it is it's not like I have much time to sit and think about having a baby (not like when you're pregnant with your first)! We've talked about some names but I just kept going over them and trying to see if anything really 'stuck out' to go with our family! I'm still at a loss. It will be easier once we know if its a boy or girl, to come up with a name! This is the first time I've really wanted to find out the sex of the baby. I just don't have a lot of things for the season he or she will be born in and I really don't have many boy things at all. So, we'll find out and I'll really hit the garage sales!

Speaking of sales, we got our 'local' once-a-week paper today and in that paper alone 33 sales were listed in our town!!! WooHoo!!! I have to look them over yet and see if they're worth going to, but I love me some garage sales, as they'd say in the south!

Hmm...well my mind is blank so I guess that's it!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

I just have to post on something. Yesterday Zach was saying how he needed to go to Walmart to buy me a gift and was asking what I want. Hannah suggested flowers and a card. Why is that so cliche to me? Sure, flowers and cards are nice, but that's what every man gets his wife (or so it seems). I'm thankful for what I get, truly I am, but sometimes I just wish men would put more thought into what their wives would really want, something specific that their wife would like, know what I mean? By the way, I got a handmade card and picture from Hannah, a feather from Gabe and a picture and candy from Josiah! I love them! Zach sent me an e-card which brought tears to my eyes (but it doesn't take much these days). Anyway, I told Zach not to 'waste' our money on cards, flowers and things like that. Honestly, how hard can it be for men to figure out what their wife wants? Finally I told him a manicure or pedicure would be nice, or a massage.

Please know I'm NOT trying to complain- I'm thankful for every flower I get and every funny and meaningful card given. It's just that sometimes I think us women would like more thought and work put into it all than just a trip to Walmart. I really, really hope this makes sense and if Zach reads this I hope he knows I mean no ill will toward him or anything, just stating some thoughts!!!

Happy Birthday Josiah

Wow, time FLIES! Josiah is 8 today! Where on earth did that go??? I can remember that day like it was yesterday. I think he had a good birthday. Last night we went to Hibachi and spent an arm, leg and ear it was so expensive (but sooooo good). Today we hit a few garage sales as I was on the hunt for maternity jeans (I found 2 pair). Then we came and played a bit and ate lunch and prepared for his party. He had a good party- 2 families showed up so 5 other kids. They colored their 'goody bags', played a "Lego game" (they got a baggie of Lego's and had to build something with it), and played musical chairs. Then Josiah opened his gifts and we had cake and ice cream. The kids all played for awhile and left. Josiah pretty much hid out in the basement building his new Bionicle, until Zach came home to take them to see Iron Man. I guess it wasn't as good as the first one (the second movies never are).

I enjoyed the quiet when they were gone. Abby fell asleep on me and I watched trash on TV that I don't normally watch and fell asleep for a bit. Then we ate dinner and Abby got a bath and I got ready for bed. We played for a bit, talked to Nanny and then everyone came home. It was so nice and quiet with just her and I. She didn't really venture far from me and didn't play off of my lap. I think she thought it was weird that nobody else was here!

Now I am ready for bed. It seems I just don't slow down these days as there's always something to be done! I'm glad Josiah's birthday is over. Now I need to focus on finishing school and preparing for our garage sale.

I'm so thankful for Josiah. He's so creative with drawing, Lego's and Bionicles. He's really funny, always making us laugh about something (both of my boys are). He's been such a delight to watch grow these past 8 years! I'm thankful that he's healthy and growing!!!

Hump Day

School is winding down. Well, in some ways I feel like it will drag forever and in other ways it feels like its really ending soon. I'm not sure which it is, I don't have a set date to be done by, just whenever we're done I guess. Both Hannah and Josiah finished their English books, BUT we didn't do the writing chapters in those books as I had bought a different writing book to do. BUT they didn't like to do those exercises either so now we're going back to the writing chapters in their English books to write! They, especially Hannah, really struggle with writing and coming up with ideas for some reason!!! Although, her narrative for this week is going really well.

I don't know why but the only place I dream of that I've lived in (aside from growing up and college) is Minot. Last night I dreamed of Minot again! How weird is that!?!? I remember living in our house we'd lived in on Roaming Road, but I think we were just visiting? Whoever I was with, we walked down to the chapel but it wasn't the chapel but some other building where there was like a craft show and such. My cousin Sherry was there selling her Scentsy stuff, my cousin Darci was there working with the paramedics doing demonstrations. It was so weird!

Can you believe that I am 14 weeks today- in my second trimester!?!?!? I am sooo excited, although at the same time I just can't wait for my ultrasound at 18 weeks just to confirm (again) that everything is ok. Afterall, I was at a 15 week appointment when I found out Malachi had died. I just like to get past those 'humps'.

I am trying to plan Josiah's birthday party. I am having it Friday afternoon and we were going to go to a park but the weather looks cold, windy and possibly rainy so now I am having it here. I'm kinda bummed about that as its so much easier to have a bunch of kids running around at a park than my house!!!! lol That also means more planning on my part, figuring out about 2 games and such. Oh well, I know Josiah will be excited to have his friends celebrate his day with him. He also is going to see the new Iron Man movie that night with Zach, Hannah and Gabe. We're supposed to go eat dinner (he wants to go to the Japanese Steakhouse) but seeing as they're going to the movie I'm not sure how that will play out. Maybe we'll have to do that tomorrow night.

Ok, I am freezing and in need of a shower...Jamie this post was for you :)) More than 1 post in a week! I'm on a roll!

Where's Jamie?

Yesterday Zach asked the last time I've blogged...I couldn't remember! How sad is that. I haven't even been by to scope out my friend's blogs. I have been pretty busy with life in general though. Last week just seemed so crazy. I really am aiming to be done with school at a reasonable date (no idea when though). One of these days maybe we'll start doubling up on lessons, but we'll see. I haven't even been able to keep up on my housework- I seem dust caked on so many things and I just don't care right now. I'm too tired to deal with it! Between schooling, caring for the kids in general and everything else I just feel there's not much time! I can't wait for summer break!!! To do nothing! I'm also preparing for a garage sale so I finally made it in the basement last night to tackle some of that mess.

Speaking of garage sales, a friend and I went on Saturday. It was so fun to have somebody to go with, rather than alone or dragging out my kids! I don't know what I'll do when Zach's gone this summer because it's so much easier without the kids. Well, I did take Hannah and she took her daughter, but that's easy! We went to one neighborhood sale where there were like 23 houses having sales and SCORED! I took $40 with me and most of it was gone by the time we left there, 2 1/2 hours later! I came home with only $1 left! I bought some clothes for Abby, found a dress and jeans for Hannah and found some maternity clothes. I also found what I thought was a car seat cover for winter (I've never needed one) but turns out it goes in a cart. I thought about selling it in my sale, but maybe I'll keep it? We'll see. It's WAY nicer than the one I have. So, I guess at the next 'hunt' I'll be finding one of those car seat covers and some maternity jeans. I only have 2 pairs of those! Why I didn't buy any on Sat. is beyond me (I guess I didn't realize how little I have).

Speaking of maternity jeans, on Saturday I went to get dressed and couldn't fit in my normal pants!!! I have 2 pairs of jeans that are bigger so I wore one of those, but I'm no longer able to wear the normal ones. So, this weather either really needs to warm up because I have tons of summer clothes, or I need to hit some more sales and find some jeans!! Not bad to be pregnant for the 7th time (5th baby) and be needing maternity pants at 13 1/2 weeks!

Well, I'm going to try to rest while the kids are playing nicely. I'm exhausted since I was up so early. I hope to check in with you all soon!

Why don't I ever blog?

Our trip home was...stressful. It always is. I always say I'm not gonna do that again but of course I do! This time it was just that Zach & I were on two different pages with 'plans'. So that frustrated the crap out of me! It was nice to see my mom, though. I just wish we'd had more time together, at least alone. Since my stepdad is out of commission he was RIGHT there ALL the time! Everybody was happy to see us. We didn't travel an hour to see everyone, but people came to us and that helped w/stress! I was tired enough as it was! It was great seeing everyone we got to see, just wish we could've seen everyone!

It is so nice to be home. Nothing like going away to have you come home and feel good about your home! Although since I got here I've been sick. I haven't been taking Unisom at night, seeing if I could go without it (plus I didn't really want to take it when we were travelling because I didn't want to be overly tired). But yesterday we didn't eat on a normal schedule and I thought maybe that threw my off. By the time I'd eaten I was beyond hungry and then so sick. So as soon as I crawled into bed last night I had to run out because I got sick. This morning I awoke and had laundry started before 8:30 and was showered by 9! I was so thrilled, ready to tackle school and some other things. Well, I began to go downhill from there and felt so sick again. I did school from the couch and laid around all day. My stomach kept turning and feeling funny, I have no idea how I didn't get sick. Then as I was eating dinner (leftover spaghetti) I knew I was going to 'lose it'. Not fun at all! No idea why I'm so sick again but I'm going to start taking Unisom again! In Michigan I was getting to the point where I was craving things and everything sounded good. Not anymore! Boo!

Abby is just growing up. She was down to nursing once a night (at last) and the other night I paid attention if she was getting anything. She wasn't so I was just her pacifier so last night she got no 'boo' as she calls it. She only whined once for it. Last night she fell asleep in her own bed (with Hannah next to her) and awoke after 1 and I brought her into our bed. I was too tired/sick to try to get her back in her own bed and Zach wouldn't budge! Then today for her nap Hannah got her to sleep in her bed again!!! I think she's finally beginning to like her bed! I must admit though that I'm a bit sad that we'll never have that 'closeness' of nursing again. It's just such a special thing. Good thing I have another on the way! Now to get her sleeping through the night and in her own bed all night!!! She's so smart too. Copies everything. She eats like a pig now that she doesn't nurse- she'll eat anything from anyone! I'm thinking I may try to potty train her this summer. She's only 20 months but she's so smart and I normally can tell when she's about to poop. We'll see. She loves to give me kisses on the mouth, its so super sweet! She's beginning to 'sing' along to music! I love watching her discover new things every day. Oh and she LOVES puzzles!!!

Ok that's about all for now. I'm so tired.

We're so spontaneous

We decided on like Wednesday to go home to Michigan for a week, so here we are at 'home'. We got her Saturday and will only be here until Friday or Saturday. It will be short but good. I hadn't seen my mom since last summer when I was up here! She keeps wanting to come down to visit me but hasn't been able to with her nursing duties (my stepdad's broken ankle). I really hope she'll be able to make it down this summer when I'm home alone for 6 1/2 weeks. The kids sure love being in Michigan again. Not only do they get to see family but they have so much room to run around outside. And they don't mind the 'cold' like I do!

Yesterday we spent the day at Zach's dads. His sister and her family came up and we BBQ'd and had a good ol' time. We went out to Zach's Uncle Joey's house and he gave the kids a ride on a trailer on the back of his 4-wheeler and then they played in his pond looking for frogs, tadpoles and turtles. They had such a good time.

Well, I can't concentrate anymore on anything else I was going to say :) Too much commotion!

I CAN'T DO NOTHIN' RIGHT

Yep, guess I'm supposed to be SUPER DOOPER MOM! How I'm supposed to do it all and have it all together is beyond me. I'm so at the end of my rope. Nights are so rough. I'm just so frustrated and hormones must be hitting because I'm even in tears.

Weekend Recap

What a great weekend we had! Well, I really don't remember Friday. I think I felt pretty sick that night. Oh yeah, we went to eat at Godfather's. It's one of the only sit down pizza places in our town- sad that pizza has become only a thing of delivery or carry-out! Afterwards we ran to Walmart because I needed a few things for Hannah's party. When I walked in the door I noticed little orange "Wet Floor" signs or something but didn't pay attention until the greeter guy said, "Don't look." Of course then you look...I saw puke. I felt pukey enough as it was! I made sure we left out the other door. And as soon as I got home I ran upstairs and lost my dinner! At least I didn't' do it in Walmart!

Saturday Zach took the boys fishing and I prepared for Hannah's party. She had 4 girls come over, which was a perfect number! We played the "Hannah game" where I asked questions about her from birth on up- a great way for the girls to get to know her! We then played a 'nail polish' game I found online. You spin the bottle of nail polish and whoever it lands on paints a nail that color, then they spin, etc so they end up w/different color painted nails. We did one hand for each girl and then they just painted the other hand whatever colors they wanted. Then we opened gifts- Hannah got some real nice gifts. It was time to decorate cupcakes. The girls had a blast putting their own icing on the cupcakes- piling it way high! They were like, "This is a once in a lifetime chance!" Haha After the cake and ice cream we planted some seeds for them to take home. Then they had about 20 minutes to play. I had most of the party outside and didn't even get the house messy! It was perfect! Parties for 10 year old girls are way easier than for littler kids or even boys! I guess the boys didn't catch one fish- in 4 hours of fishing! At least they got out and had some fun! I was pretty beat after the party so Zach, Abby and I took a nap while the older kids watched a movie.

Today we went to the early service at church. I really like going to that service because then we have the whole rest of the day free! Although today we were like, "What are we going to do?" It was decent weather outside so we knew we wanted to do something. Abby wouldn't nap so I suggested we just go for a ride and maybe she'd sleep. We drove through some areas of Ankeny we've never been through before. Then Zach said he'd take the kids to Petsmart to see the animals so I ventured to Kohl's which is in the same shopping plaza! I wanted to find a spring/summer coat since I don't really have a decent/nice one. Plus I had $10 in Kohl's cash to use. I found a nice coat, a shirt for myself and a white onesie for Abby. She's got a few denim jumpers and I didn't have anything to wear under them so I thought that was perfect. I really could have spent much more money, looking at all the baby clothes and stuff! Afterwards we came home and the kids played in the backyard. I took Abby in the front to ride her bike and she saw our neighbors on the corner out with their slide and jump house so she started heading that way! It was nice to visit with them again- I haven't seen them since fall! Abby had fun playing (their little boy is exactly 2 weeks younger than her). It is so nice to be able to hang out outside, I just wish the wind wouldn't blow so much! Yesterday was supposed to be about 70 but it wasn't that warm at all and with the wind felt even cooler.

I've been weaning Abby. She doesn't' nurse at all during the day and there's been a night or two I haven't nursed her before she fell asleep. I try to put her in her room to go to sleep but sometimes its difficult if I don't feel well. Last night I didn't nurse her, she fell asleep in her room and once she woke up I think she only nursed maybe two times during the night, so I think she's finally getting it! I feel bad because she's so cute when she asks for it or tries to get in my shirt! Hopefully she'll be weaned soon and start sleeping through the night and then in her own bed! My goal is to have her in her own bed all night before Zach's gone this summer.

She has to do whatever her siblings do. If they eat, she has to be sitting eating also. The other day they went to play in the basement and she normally doesn't ask to go down there, but she begged to go down. It is not finished and there are many toys for her to play with down there but there's also some that are too little for her. So I had Hannah watch and play with her while I cleaned up from lunch. If the kids go outside Abby has to go outside. And every time she goes outside she goes to the basement door until we get her shoes and to the closet for her jacket. Smart girl! The other night at Godfather's she was so super cute. These teen boys sat at a booth across from us and she kept looking back at them and smiling. The one boy finally noticed her and smiled back. She started waving and saying, "Hi" and she'd look at us and laugh about it! It was so cute how she was flirting with him! When we left I told her to give him a hug and she went to put her head on his leg to 'hug' him but then hit her head on the table and got freaked out! It was so funny though!

Well, speaking of Abby she's finally napping on me and my arm is killing so I better get off. Plus Hannah's been begging me to see which clothes of hers don't fit her so it's time to go through her clothes!

Talk

I forgot to mention that I had 'the talk' with Hannah. I believe it was Thursday night. I figured it was 'fresh' on both our minds so I better just do it. Whew. I first of all made very, VERY clear that she not talk about the stuff I tell her with anyone- not her brothers, not friends. If she had anything to say or ask to come to me. That's all I need is her to go and tell her friends how babies are made! I told her about how her body will change and what will happen and explained how babies are 'made'. She had some questions. Some were funny. "You mean you and dad took your shorts off and did that?" "Well when I get married will you be mad when I do that?" "Will dad spank me after I'm married and I do that?" She also thought you waited awhile after you were married, saying something about months later and how will people know, will she get a belly? Then I explained that just because you're intimate doesn't mean you get pregnant, that there's only a certain time of the month that can happen. I think she got quite an education! She hasn't brought it up since we've had the discussion. She did seem rather weirded out by it, wondering how it could be 'enjoyable'. I told her that's normal for kids to feel that way, but as she got older she'd understand! It really wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. She did know a bit about menstruation and stuff due to reading the Old Testament. Kudos to the Bible :)

Already!?!

Ok, so Saturday I realized that my belly must have grown over night! That's weird too because Friday night I was sooooo sick! But I could've sworn on Saturday that my tummy was just a bit bigger. And yesterday I noticed it too. I'm 9 1/2 weeks. Wow, it seems so early, especially considering how tiny the baby is! I don't mind though! I remember with Hannah I was like 9 months pregnant and barely looked pregnant at all! I hated it! It was my first and I wanted to look pregnant! I guess by the time I've been pregnant so many times I'm bound to get 'fat' sooner! Even the other day when I was walking in Kohl's I almost felt like I had a bit of a waddle! I know, I must have been exaggerating but still.

We had a good weekend. Like I said Friday I was really sick. Zach got home and I don't know what the deal was. I don't remember feeling that awful the whole pregnancy. Finally about 8 I took some Unisom and went to bed. Saturday I wanted to head out to this kid's consignment shop so we all went out. It was nice to get out and I managed to find some things for Abby and a few things for Josiah (my two most in 'need'). The kids enjoy looking at the animals around the store (they have fish, turtles, guinea pigs, etc). Always a fun time! I thought with everyone there I would feel rushed to look but I wasn't at all. We then drove to Barnes and Noble where Hannah exchanged a book and then we drove by the lake to see if it was unfrozen. Zach thought about taking the boys fishing, but then decided it was too windy. When we got home Hannah & I went to Kohl's where I found a few more things for A & J. Then I treated Hannah to some YUMMY custard at Culver's. I haven't been able to eat a whole lot of sweets so far this pregnancy but that sounded so delicious to me. I saved $112 at Kohl's! I LOVE saving money like that!!!

Yesterday we had a good day, much better than what I'd anticipated. I hate spending holidays alone, without family. It really, really bites to be away from family on holidays. And I really miss living near/on a base where you have others in the same boat so you all get together. I really didn't want to spend another holiday alone. Sometimes it just gets so depressing. We went to church, which was PACKED and then Zach went to Wal-mart because he decided he was going to cook a dinner! He made a delicious salad for us for lunch and then for dinner made Chicken Alfredo. It was so sweet of him to do that! We have noodles coming out of our ears he made so much food! At least I don't have to worry about what to eat when I get hungry!

To make the day even better my friend, Jenn, and her kids stopped by! It was great to see them and Abby loved the baby! She even 'helped' me give the baby her bottle! Then the weather was gorgeous so we sat outside for awhile. Our neighbors were out too, so eventually I ended up over there to hold their not even month old grandson! Two babies in one day!!! THEN I had another surprise, which I cannot disclose yet. It was a GREAT day and I'm thankful to God for the people he provided to keep me 'company' during the day! Hope you all had a blessed Resurrection Day as well!

I wish I could say today was a good day. For some reason I didn't get enough sleep or awoke on the wrong side of the bed. I am a grouch (I admit it). My kids are driving me nuts. Right now poor Abby is so tired. She was asleep on the floor until the kids were going crazy being hyper. Now she's awake and just crying. I know she wants to go back to sleep but is fighting it. Poor baby. I've tried rocking her, singing to her, etc and she just doesn't know what she wants. I must go and put some laundry in the dryer. How we ended up with SO many dirty clothes is beyond me!

Baby #7!

So yesterday I had my first appointment, as you know from my last blog post. All went well and it was such a relief! I was still in shock, even after seeing the baby! It's such a blessing to be given the chance to raise another child for the Lord! He is so good to see us fit to bless us with another baby! I'm so thankful!

I've been thinking about the birth of this baby and wondering if I'd need another c-section. I know they're so anti-VBAC these days, even after one section, much less after two. I have to admit I'm almost ok with another c-section. I'm wondering if it's a 'God thing' because I never considered that with my other children. The doctor talked to me about having my 5th baby and how that really increases my chances of uterine rupture, especially since my body has been through this so many times now. He also said, "If you were my wife I'd definitely recommend a c-section." He was very open to checking into it all if I wanted a VBAC, to checking with the hospital and all that (he was talking about it before I said anything about it). That was when I told him I wasn't completely opposed to another c-section. Like I said, I wonder if God has kinda made me think this way for some reason, because normally I'd be opposed. And I have many, MANY friends who are WAY opposed to c-sections and I really don't want to hear any 'stats' or anything on it- it is a choice Zach & I have to make that will work best for us.

This morning I had a nightmare that seemed so real. I was standing by the front door with Josiah and then realized I had to go to the bathroom. Not to give TMI, but when I wiped I was spotting and I just FREAKED out. I was a bit nervous to get out of bed and go to the bathroom this morning. Luckily it was just a really, really bad dream. I'm thankful for even having a dream though because that means I got sleep!

I've been struggling with insomnia many nights with this pregnancy. The night before last I couldn't sleep AT ALL. It was so frustrating! Yesterday was such a busy day and by evening I was just worn right out! And I had to come home, make sure the kids were bathed and get them to bed! It was nice to crawl into bed at a decent hour and actually get some sleep! I was so thankful!

Ok, speaking of baby I'm really hungry so I better find me some food before I get too much hungrier. I've been puking, but not every day- not even every other day- thankfully! I certainly feel like I could a lot more often though. I hate being hungry but nothing sounds good- that's the worst.

Bad blogging mom!

I didn't get on my blog yesterday to wish Hannah a HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY!!!! How is it that my 'baby' is 10??? I remember that day like it was yesterday. I'm so thankful for the young lady Hannah is becoming- I couldn't ask for a better daughter! God has blessed us!

Here's how her birthday went down: She woke up and we ate breakfast and then she opened her gifts. She was excited to get new bedding from Nanny & Papa. We'd gone on Saturday when Zach was still in town and gotten her ears pierced with a $35 gift card to Claire's I'd given her. We also went to Bass Pro Shop and ate at their restaurant. I asked the waitress about birthdays and she said they normally don't do anything but she'd ask her manager. She came back with a sundae for Hannah and said the boss paid for it. That was SO nice!!! What a little treat! Anyway, back to yesterday...

The kids also watched TV, whatever Hannah wanted to watch. They also got to play outside. We ate lunch and then sang Happy Birthday and had cake. I picked up the babysitter to watch teh younger three and Hannah came to my first OB appointment with me. I was so excited to take her! When I was filling out a form that asked about your last period she read it and asked, "Does that mean like a period at the end of a sentence?" LOL I briefly reminded her what it was, because I've briefly told her about it before. So, we finally make it in the back and WOOHOO I get my ultrasound! It was such a relief to see the baby! The doctor gave the first picture to Hannah to keep! I thought that was so special! It was amazing how you could already see baby's arm and leg buds!

The appointment went well, I'll try to write more on that on another post. I had to go and get my blood drawn and while waiting Hannah asked me how babies get in mommy's bellies. Oh boy! Seriously!?! I was having a hard enough time with her turning 10, do I really have to explain that too! I told her the mommy and daddy sleep together and she asked, "Do they touch each other or what?" So, she's on the right track... I just need to find a time to sit and explain it all to her, I guess. Phew, my little girl is growing up!

I was so thankful Hannah was able to come to my appointment with me! It was so special! I hope she thought it was special also! After we brought the babysitter home we came home and the kids got to ride their scooters out front for awhile. They wanted their bikes but I wasn't about to try to haul them out of the shed! Then we went out for Chinese, per Hannah's request for her birthday dinner. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it but I just ate rice and ragoons! We came home and they played outside and watched some more TV. Hannah wanted to play with one of her friends but that didn't work out. We then went to Bible study where the 'babysitter' planned an Easter egg hunt for the kids. They all sure liked that! That was sweet of them to do that!

We then came home and had baths and went to bed. Then I went and lay in Hannah's bed with her and asked if she had a good birthday and prayed over her. She said she had a special day and I'm glad. I plan to try to have a birthday party for her on the 10th, just a little one.

Happy 10th birthday my big girl!!!

No way

Ok, so I totally should blog about my retreat this weekend. Instead I'm going to gripe. Friday night while I was gone Zach took all 4 kids to the movie. I'm thankful they did the 2D and not the 3D but I found out the next day they made him pay for Abby!!!! She watched the previews and slept through the movie. She's 19 months and he had to pay FULL price!!! I think I should call the theater and complain about that. That's bull crap!

Yay

My cord came in today! Earlier than I thought it would! I'm so happy! Every time I'd type on Zach's computer I'd have so many issues, which is one reason I never blogged. I hate that computer! Just like the Dell laptop I bought last year and had problems with. So, I'm back. Hopefully I can blog a REAL post real soon :)

Let's try again...

Ok, I had this post started once and am not going to elaborate again, unfortunately. Here's our updated dream sheet. It doesn't guarantee a thing, but Zach needed to update it for applying for a new Air Force job.

1. Randolph AFB San Antonio
2. Scott AFB in Illinois (near St. Louis)
3. Peterson AFB Colorado Springs
4. Davis Monthan AFB Tucson
5. Hill AFB Salt Lake City
6. Mountain Home AFB south of Boise, Idaho
7. Buckley AFB near Denver
8. Lackland AFB San Antonio

For overseas:
1. Lakenheath England
2. Mildenhall England
3. Elmendorf Alaska
4. Alconbury England
5. Moron Spain
6. Aviano Italy
7. Croughton England
8. Stavanger Norway

Dream Sheet

Well i had a nice long post and Zach's dumb computer deleted it...I'm too mad to post about itagain so I guess it'll have to wait...grrrrrr

Spring Break is for the Birds

I wasn't planning on doing any sort of spring break, I really never do as we take breaks whenever we want/need them. But, I've decided we're going to have "Spring Training". We'll do some light schoolwork probably throughout the week, but I mainly want to focus on REtraining my children in all sorts of things- manners, obedience, kind words, patience, learning to ASK kindly when they need help, etc. These are things that have just been GRATING on my nerves and it's my own lack of dealing with it. So, it'll be a boot camp sort of deal. I'm not sure even what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it! Totally winging it here. But, I'm tried of the behavior of my children. I don't enjoy them these days and I want a home filled with peace. So, it's time to do some work in what REALLY counts. We'll be spending a lot of time in the Bible, doing a lot of teamwork, and simply being together and enjoying one another. I plan on cutting back on my computer time as well, as I know I need some 'adjusting' in my attitude also! Please pray for us! And if you have any ideas, send them my way!

Spilling beans

I have some beans to spill. I really wanted to keep it a secret longer but people are finding out so I figure I may as well let you know. I'm going to post it here before I facebook it (not sure when I'll announce it on facebook) so please keep it quiet on facebook!

We are going to have another baby!!!! I am shocked, ecstatic, shocked, excited, shocked, thankful, did I mention shocked!? I'm 6 weeks today due about November 3. I found out Friday night.

When I was out shopping Friday night I bought a test. I think I get obsessed with taking them! I honestly did not think I was pregnant, so I'm really not sure why I bought the test. Back in Feb. I had gotten what I thought was a 'light' period that was a bit earlier than what I expected and just not 'normal' (then again they haven't been too normal). So I assumed it was just a weird period, but at the same time had a nagging thought that maybe it was implantation or something. Also, I've never before gotten pregnant while still nursing. I know its not a sure form of 'birth control' but its worked for me in the past.

Not like we were trying to use it as a form of birth control. We're just like 'if it happens, it happens'. We believe God controls the womb and He is the Giver of Life. For a few months I'd kept having baby dreams, but every month was not pregnant. I hate when 'getting pregnant' consumes your thoughts and one night when Zach was gone I had a really good 'God time'. I remember asking God to take away any baby thoughts if He didn't plan that for me right now. I was completely content either way, to have another baby now or not. I know it all lies in His hands. So, the next day when I started that light bleeding I chuckled to myself thinking how God was showing me now was not the time. Little did I know...

Fast forward to this past Friday night. I got home from shopping and took the test. Zach and the 3 older kids were at the movies, so he had no idea I'd bought it. I took it, turned to wash my hands, glanced at it and already saw a visible + sign. I had to read the paper to see if I was reading it correctly because I didn't believe it! I was so tripped up, I called my friend Angie just flipping out! "Oh my goodness!!! You're not going to believe what I'm looking at!!! Oh my!!!" I was freaking out! Excitement and shock just took over! I honestly did not expect to see that + sign! It was so cool to call her first and share with her! I remember when she'd done pretty much the same thing to me! So, she knew before Zach even knew.

Then I texted him a picture of the test and asked him to pick up another. I later heard him driving up and met him at the door. He didn't get the text! So, he checked it and was like, "What? You're pregnant? How did that happen?" LOL Duh I wonder! So he ran right out to get another test and that too showed up positive right away. We were in shock. We're still in shock I think!

I wasn't going to say anything for awhile. I know how people will react. They'll think we're crazy. They'll wonder why. They'll worry. They think our hands are 'full enough'. They won't be happy. They won't say 'Congratulations'. It's a new LIFE!?!? Why can't people be happy for that??? It's such a shame! This is why I didn't want to say anything for awhile. Plus, I think about my friends (quite a few of them) who desire a baby sooooo badly and are just unable to have one. I know how much they're happy for us, yet how much it hurts them. And I can't help but feel bad, if that makes sense. Needless to say, I don't live for other people and I don't live for myself. I live for God and put my trust in Him. Obviously God wants to bless us with another and He'll provide the strength, stamina, etc to raise another! Its all a matter of trust. I trust in God. I live for God and I will submit to God. I praise Him for the blessing of another baby!

It is crazy to think this is my 7th pregnancy, my 5th baby!!! Please pray for the baby. Pray for me to have peace and to eat healthy! The kids are all excited and they all say they hope its another girl! They're so funny!

Three Years

Three years have gone by in a wink and a blur. In ways it seems like just yesterday, as I can recollect this day so vividly. In other ways it seems like ages ago as the pain has eased. My boy is blessed to be in heaven, not having to face a day in this ugly sinful world, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him. I often wonder what it would be like to have him toddling about the house. I'm sure he'd love his big brothers and follow them everywhere! What a delight he would be to watch as he grows and learns new things daily. Who would he resemble? Gabe with brown hair and eyes or would he have lighter hair and blue eyes? Our house would be a whole lot wilder with another boy running around, but what joy and fun that would be! What a blast!!! Life with children is never dull and you're always bound to be entertained and I'm sure he'd just add to my daily smiles. I miss him. How can you meet somebody you never got to 'meet', whose personality you don't know? He was a part of me. A part of Zach. A part of our family. He is a special little boy to be able to pass by this place into the heavenly realm. I cannot wait to get there, to meet my precious boy, to hold him tight. What a delightful day that will be! Malachi, you are missed beyond words. Time may have healed some of the pain of 'losing' you but there will always be some there until we meet face to face. I feel so blessed and honored that God chose me to be your mommy, if only for a short time! My love for you only grows over time. I love you my sweet boy. Mommy will always love you and you'll never be forgotten.

God's Voice

I love when God speaks, don't you? Last night we had Zach's Dining Out. I was dreading it for so many reasons for a really long time. I love being a military wife. Take me to a base picnic any day. I'll even go to a Christmas party. But the more 'formal' type things just aren't my style! Good thing Zach isn't an officer or we'd be having to do them a lot more often, probably! When we got there Zach had to use the restroom so I stood outside of it and just prayed for God to give me a good attitude. We arrived later than we were supposed to (they wanted us there at 5 sharp for the 'social hour'). Those are the things that make me nervous...schmoozing with the 'big guys'. Anyway, we were way later than that and didn't have much time to socialize! And God really heard my prayer because I had a really good attitude and enjoyed myself. Definitely not something I want to do, but at least I can say I had a decent time. Maybe because we had some decent company at our table this year (last year, for the whole 1/2 hour I was there there wasn't really anybody at our table to talk to).

Anyway, I got a bit sidetracked in my brain when the speaker was speaking! I wondered how my children were and was missing them. Isn't it funny how I crave time away from them when I'm with them, but when I'm away from them I miss them? I don't miss them or wonder about them as much when Zach is with them, but when somebody else watches them I wonder more. Anyway, as I sat thinking about them God quietly whispered to me. You see, lately it seems I see or hear of more and more people taking little trips away from their children (whether alone or with their spouse). And I become quite envious of that. I want to get away! I want a trip away with hubby! Or people will tell me how I need a break, some time away. Zach is SO GOOD about giving me time away when I need it. He's wonderful about staying home and helping with the kids while I go to a Mom's night or shopping or whatever to get out for a few hours. And that is all I need! Something I just thought of, the book I picked up a while back but haven't had much of a chance to get in to yet talks about this very thing, but I haven't read this chapter yet. Well, until last night.

God really spoke about how He created me to be my children's mother. To be with them, nurture and care for them. That is what He has called me to do- it is my high calling. I knew this of course, but it was so nice to have that still small reminder from Him! Normally I get these little glimpses and reminders from Above Rubies retreats and magazines. And isn't it funny that I got my magazines Friday but haven't had time to read them? They always encourage me in my walk with God and in my role as a wife and mother. I am SO BLESSED to have 4 beautiful children! Thank you, Jesus, for the sweet reminder! I don't need a ticket out of here. I need to immerse myself in God and my family and give myself fully to them!

Hmm

I have a post I started last week and have yet to get back to it! I keep wanting to blog but just haven't had the time. Facebooking is so much easier because you can just quick log on, check things out and leave. Blogging you need to think, type, edit, etc. More brain power, of which I'm lacking these days.

I went to the doctor the other day as it was like 9 days of my cold and I couldn't stand it anymore. Turns out I have bronchitis. I've never had it before so part of me wonders if I really do have it. I am on some meds. You'd think they'd have kicked in by now but I'm still hacking away. I'm not blowing my nose as often so that's a good thing- it is so raw from blowing it so much. But this cough is just annoying. My back feels out of whack from coughing so much, my stomach hurts from coughing so much and I'm sick of hearing it!

We've had temps in the 30s and beautiful sunshine lately and I'm digging it! I'm so ready for spring! Grass, parks, garage sales. Plus I can toss the kids outside when they're getting out of control. I think they're as cooped up as I am!

Contest

My sister-in-law, Amie, is having a contest! She's the 'crafty' one who made my blanket and diaper bag for Abby. She's talented. Check it out and take a shot at winning! And if you need anything 'custom' made she's the one to see :)

History

Wow, this week is crazy! All of my days just run together when Zach's not here. While he 'lives it up' in San Antonio going to movies and driving around cadets I don't get a break from my kids. But they haven't been too bad! We've been catching up on school since we didn't get a whole lot done last week. We've also run out every day, whether to church, shopping or errands. Today we went to the Iowa Historical Museum. First, it was free (well aside from putting $ in the parking meter)!!! Well, the kids saw this big box and I told them that was where donations go- Gabe put all of his money in there- at least $2! I thought that was pretty cute! The guy wanted me to sign in, so I signed in our 'group' which included my two friends and their kids. There would be 3 adults and 10 children. The guy came up to us a bit later making sure we had the count correct "because it seems like you have more than 10 children". Sometimes it was a bit crazy trying to keep mine in control by not running and staying by me. It was a neat little museum. I liked that fact that many of the exhibits had things we've recently talked about in school! For example, when we learned about rocks in science we learned about granite. We got to see granite. They've seen granite in countertops before but not really in a 'real' rock! Lately Gabe's been learning about mountain type things and so it was neat to see Native American things, covered wagons, musical instruments and other items. The kid's favorite thing was a replica of a building in Des Moines- built completely out of Lego's. I admit it was rather neat!

As soon as we got in the car Abby crashed! She slept the whole way home and even conked out on the couch for a long while! I guess I wore her out!!! I even managed to do some school with the kids this afternoon. Now we can relax the rest of the day. Maybe I'll go and watch American Idol that I DVR'ed last night.

The new L-O-W

"Kinda like on Law & Order" (Zach's been way into that show lately). Josiah piped up from the way back, "You mean he can be like Low!" (Low rhymes with OW). I asked what he said, as I didn't understand. Well, he repeated it and I figured out he meant that he thought the male detective was named Low and the female Order!!!! Oh man, I busted a gut! It is so much funnier to say the story aloud than to type it. So I explained what Law & Order is.

Roller Coaster Ride

That's what it's been around here. The other day when I was doing our Bible time we were going over some memory verses. We began to talk about one of them and Gabe blurted out, "I'm going to hell." I just lost it and started bawling. I explained to him that we don't want him in hell and began to talk to he and Josiah on how they need Jesus saving grace. We had a very good discussion and they had many questions throughout the day.

Then yesterday we talked about it some more. Hannah was also talking to them about how they need to be saved. I sat down with them after lunch and explained it once again. Then we prayed and they asked Jesus into their hearts! Josiah had done this a couple of years ago but I'm not quite sure he understood. I'm still not sure they fully understand, I can only hope, pray and keep talking with them about the decision they've made and what it means.

Well, I was pretty psyched up about that when I heard from Zach that his supervisor and commander wanted him to remove his Bible and cross off of his desk. It has been there for almost 2 years (since we've gotten here) and we were floored that all of a sudden they're bringing this up. Especially in light of other things that have gone on there that SHOULD have had repercussions. Zach removed it, but then after PT went back and placed it back. He talked to a Chaplain last night (his dad's priest, who is also in the National Guard) and possibly to a few other people. He was ready to contact MEO and file an IG complaint. He had a meeting this morning and was told he could leave it there as long as he was 'cognizant of cadet's beliefs'. Praise God he can leave it there! Is it not crazy that he was asked such a thing??? It is the United States for crying out loud!!!

Anyway, what a roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs!

3

Attempt #2...I am on Zach's computer as I await a new cord for mine and I hate this thing...does the exact same things my Dell did, so unfortunately this won't be a long post as I don't have patience for it. Every time I go to type a T a new tabbed browser pops up. How annoying!

Anyway, today is the 3 year mark since we found out Malachi was no longer living and growing in my womb. In ways it seems like yesterday and in ways it seems like forever ago. It was weird how all week I knew this day was approaching and was mentally preparing for it. Well this morning when I awoke it was almost erased from my mind. Instead, the recent young widow from my church was heavy on my heart. As I prepared to go out with Gabe doing some errands and such, God placed an idea in my head on how to bless her. It was a blast to have such a 'task' and gave me an opportunity to meet her, although I felt a bit weird, a stranger showing up on her doorstep! I just hope she knows how much I've been praying for her. Even last night when Zach asked the kids what we could pray for Josiah said, "Josiah's family". How sweet!

I still cannot believe 3 years have gone by since we got such dreaded news about our little boy. I often wonder what he would look like- would he have Gabe's silly grin or Josiah's blue eyes? What would our lives be like with another little boy tearing apart our house? I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to be Malachi's mommy, even for a short time. And as much as I miss him I am thankful he doesn't have to endure the pains and trials in this world. Jesus, please kiss my special boy for me! Mommy loves you, Malachi!

Unreal

Back to that doctor appointment. I felt like I had to strip to get weighed, taking off my boots and heavy winter coat and all! I didn't want those to mess with my weight! I thought for sure I'd be at least 10 pounds heavier than I wanted, what with the little belly I have. WOW! I weigh my 'normal' weight! I seriously have no idea how that is possible! Well, maybe because I really *am* still young :) I was totally psyched about it though~ nothing better than that :) Guess I can still keep eating all the junk I eat? Naaa, I need to begin to eat healthier.

Visit

Glad THAT is over for a year, or until I get pregnant again! I had my 'yearly' doctor visit today. I always find it a bit awkward how a doctor can talk about such little things (I was talking about Hannah, he was talking about his oldest, a 2nd grader) while doing an exam. I suppose he just tries to make people feel comfortable but it strikes me as funny. Then he said something about 'all these little bruises' and I'm thinking at first he means down there, only to realize he's talking about my legs! I told him I always have bruises on my legs, always have! But what are you supposed to think when he's examining parts that just shouldn't be examined!?!?

I must say though, that he is such a good doctor. So personable and friendly. He doesn't try to rush you out of his office, but talks and listens. And I've seen him all of 4 times now (the last time being when Abby was 6 weeks old) and he seriously seems like he remembers me!

Sunday Silliness

Melt my heart

Tonight I ran to a few stores and took Josiah with me. We passed a billboard with a baby on it. On the way home he was looking for that same billboard and I asked, "Do you want me to have another baby?" There was some hesitation and I asked again. He said, "Mmm, I want another brother." Then he said, "I want you to adopt but not have a baby." I was a bit surprised and asked, "Why?" "Because I don't want you to hurt having a baby." Ooohh talk about so sweet! I just wanted to pull over, stop the car and give him a big hug! I told him that it doesn't always hurt if you have medicine, but it probably fell of deaf ears. He's probably thinking about the pain I was in with kidney stones and then he also asked about the staples in my stomach after I had Abby so we had a discussion about all that the doctors probably saw when they cut me open!

Looks? Voice?

Is it just me or is American Idol all about 'looks' lately? Seriously, the shows this week were all about how great they look, their hair, dress, etc. And what was with having Casey James (I think that was his name) take off his shirt? Was that really necessary? I can see why Simon won't stick around after this season!

I do understand to a point that most of us also like a singer who is at least somewhat attractive, but it just seems this time its way more of an issue. I'm not sure we'll watch after this week, with Ellen being on. Yuck. Zach says he won't watch it anymore. I'm torn...I guess I'll see what next week brings.

On another note I love my DVR! I'm able to watch it at my convenience and not have to worry about what time its on at! Love it!

Indwelling

There's a gal I've known since kindergarten, Almerry. I saw on facebook that her sister died. Her sister was 2 years older than I, but being such a small town I knew who her sister was, though I didn't *know* her. I can't help but think of Almerry at this time. Then, a good friend from college, Jen, said on facebook how this gal died also. Apparently Jen went to the same church as Tacy. I've been praying for the friends and family of Tacy since I heard the news. She left behind a husband and two children. Her obituary is just beautiful, truly a tribute to a woman of God. What kind of obituary will they write for me? Will it be just as lovely? Will those who know me but don't *know* me know that I loved Jesus? Is it evident in the way I live? What memories will my children have of me?

Friday I had a breaking point. I broke down. I cried before God and my children. I sought forgiveness from all. For the way I was living was NOT the way I wanted to live. I was so selfish, living for myself and totally not living with the Holy Spirit indwelling me. As I read a new devotional I bought and a book for book club, in addition to my Bible, I can't help but grow. I can't help but see my fault in it. For so long I've wondered HOW to change. I wanted to change but I just felt stuck. Well, duh, I was not allowing HIS Spirit to live in me and guide me. I'm thankful for His grace, His forgiveness and His nudges. I'm thankful for the Spirit that can live inside of me to guide me to live for Him. And I pray that this is just the beginning of me being back on the 'straight and narrow'. Please pray for me!

Josiah

Last time I talked about Gabe's schooling. Today I'll touch a bit on Josiah's. I have to admit he is not always an easy one to teach, then again teaching each of my children is a challenge! They tend to whine when they don't understand something, rather than ask for help. It is something I'm really trying to work on with them.

Josiah does not like math. I'm actually quite surprised because when Hannah did this math book she really *got* it. He doesn't always get it no matter what we do and I'm uncertain of what to do. I certainly will not move him forward after this book until he gets it. While the other two children are way more than halfway done with their math books, he is not (and that is totally ok). I just wish I could get him to get it and enjoy it! I really believe they go hand in hand. I love the way Steve Demme teaches math concepts- even to me a light goes off like "Yeah!" I'd wished I'd learned math the way he teaches it! He is slowly improving though, but there will be times when I ask something simple (like what's 4+2) and he has to really think about it. Last week he learned about inches and measuring with a ruler. I thought maybe he'd really like it, but I was wrong! This week he's learning about the perimeter of things. Hopefully he'll enjoy it. I'm even sad to say that today he didn't even know what shape was what for a square, rectangle and triangle. I think maybe with him I need to go back to sitting with him at the start of the school day and doing math, while his mind is 'fresh'.

He does great at spelling! He really surprises me in this area. I really like our Spelling that the kids have. They do a test three times a week (pretest, practice test and final test). They have two workbook pages they do on Tuesdays. Wednesdays they have a dictionary skill where they learn something about the dictionary. Thursdays they write in a journal (and the words they misspell in their journal they write in the back of their spelling book to use as 'climbers' that they pick every week, which are two words they pick to learn). Fridays they also read 'The King's English' where it gives a word and elaborates on it, like sacrifice, grace, star, pure.

We've been reading Abeka readers that somebody had given to me years ago. He really seems to like the stories in them. We usually read out loud, he and I, taking turns on each page. He reads pretty well (in my opinion) but I'm not really sure how well kids are "supposed" to read in 2nd grade! I know Hannah read great, but she's always excelled in reading!

English is going well. This unit he's learned about pronouns, plural nouns and abbreviations. He's done great at it!

His handwriting is going well, he's almost done with his book. It is his favorite subject. I haven't even taught him any of it! He's learned cursive this year and he seems to just follow right along on his own! There are some times when I've had to try to show him various letters, like the Z (I think that's a hard letter to write in cursive). When he wants to he can print and write real neat, sometimes even neater than his sister! Mom, I'll have to have him write you a letter sometime!

I think I've pretty much covered everything. We also do history and science but we all do it together. Oftentimes outside of school Josiah will be found drawing. Sometimes he'll even draw things we've talked about during the day. Or he'll go and build something with Lego's that we learned about, which is a great way of remembering! I need to learn to be more patient with him, as he does work at a much slower pace than what I'd like at times!

Honesty

Wow, what a terrible week I had! It was just awful! Every single day. As I thought about it yesterday at my breaking point I realized it was total spiritual warfare. Here last weekend I'd bought a devotional book, all ready to delve into the Word of God and GROW and then my week was like that? To me it was just no coincidence.

Josiah was sick one to two days, Gabriel's behavior had me pulling out my hair and I was not looking forward to the weekend as I knew Zach would be gone all weekend. Wednesday he worked late and then we had Bible study so I felt like we didn't 'connect' at all. Thursday he got home a tad bit early, we grabbed a bite to eat and did some grocery shopping. He bought the kids a new Wii game and I was mad about it and had an attitude. So of course, we got home and the kids were allowed to stay up later. I really felt like i needed a break or I'd break, especially with him being gone all weekend, but he wanted to see the kids before he left. I wanted to spend time with him and also wanted the kids in bed! I was soooo crabby. I just wanted some time without kids, ya know? So, things didn't go too well before he left. I HATE that!

It didn't help too that I *knew* that time of month was approaching and so my hormones were just out of whack! Yesterday was just awful...the worst day and I didn't think it could get worse than what Wednesday was! Hannah was now sick, Abby was clingy, I wanted to clean the house and do school. By the time dinnertime came around things were ok, but that was after I just sat on the floor crying, crying out to God and saying "I don't want to be this type of Mom."

Once the kids were in bed I spent some time reading my Bible and just sitting quietly. I really needed that. This morning I feel so much better. Maybe part of it is that I know we don't have the 'stress' of school or maybe its just my attitude. Or maybe its that my kids are being babysat in front of the TV? I don't know, but I do feel more peaceful. You know, sometimes you just need to hit that breaking point and surrender it all to Him.

I'm hoping to run and get a few items from the store today and hit the library but we'll see how the day goes. Right now its 11 am and we're all still in our PJ's and Abby's napping. Totally relaxing! Thank you Jesus!

It pays off!

Persistence that is. Gabe is doing so well reading now! Back in November he would pretty much grumble and not want to try to sound out the words. Now, even though he has to sound out pretty much every word, he does it without complaining and does it correctly! I took a break in Nov/Dec and did some work in 'Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons'. I guess maybe that helped a bit too? It's just so cool to see when it finally 'clicks'!

On another hand I really need to look into some speech therapy for him. I dread it. Only because in the winter I want to be a homebody. It's much easier to just stay home with 4 children when the weather is nuts! Hannah had some speech therapy for a bit in Mississippi and it did help a bit. I know that they do eventually outgrow some of it also, and I do try to work with him on some of his sounds as we do school (he'll say the "V" sound as a B sound, for example). There are other sounds also. I have a friend who has her son in speech so I just need to ask her for the information. I was going to today as we were supposed to have a playdate but lo and behold Josiah's had a headache and I thought we'd better stay put just in case!

When it comes to math Gabe is awesome! He usually doesn't even have to think about what he's doing! I really love our math program! I don't think he'd do as well with a different program. Then again, maybe he's just really good with numbers. He just flies through his work and many times he'll know the answer without trying to figure it out! That was not the case when Hannah and Josiah did math at this level!

So, that's school with Gabe these days. He really enjoys the various things our supervising teacher dropped off, also. Next time I'll have to let you know about Josiah's schooling!

Sunday

Just last night I was complaining about seeing no sun. It had been awhile and for days and days and days and days it was so foggy! It was really getting on my nerves! Rather than pray about it, I just complained and felt a bit blah. This morning I awoke, showered and readied myself for church and came downstairs to notice the BLUE sky and sunshine! Thank you, Jesus!

Today was 'Sanctity of Life Sunday' in church. It was cool to see that they fill baby bottles for a local crisis pregnancy center! Our church back in MS did the same. Today they showed a video about a baby after conception. It was so moving and I had tears pooled in my eyes! Ever since losing my two babies it affects me so much more. It is just amazing how God forms us, knits us in our mother's wombs. Absolutely amazing. I'm amazed by technology, electricity and such but nothing compares to how God creates us and grows us. I was realizing recently that it's getting near the time of Malachi's birthday...well ok, its in March but it was such a long ordeal through the whole month of February that month will never really be the same, especially as I also think of my other baby whom should have been due about that time. I cannot wait to meet those precious babies!

On another note, part of me is wondering if maybe I should just volunteer at the local pregnancy center. I don't know, definitely something to pray about. I know I want to do something, I just need to see where God guides me and wants me to be used.

We sit in the very last row in church (call us the Back Row Baptists...although we don't consider ourselves Baptist). It is easy to be distracted sitting back there! It's easier to do when we have the kids with us, but they're really great. We've been putting Abby in the nursery lately as this age is a difficult age to try to keep still. It seems always about this age we put the kids in the nursery for a short time. Anyway, one time we saw a grown man/father playing on his cell phone! There's been times when we see kids who are old enough to sit still and try to listen color or read. Now I have nothing against these things. My own children have gone through the stage of taking quiet things to do in church- when they're YOUNG. But when you're about 7 or 8 years old do you really need markers and a coloring book in church? Today was the kicker- a boy had his GAME BOY!!! I was so floored! WHAT is that teaching your children about church, about how HOLY God is? This boy had to be at LEAST 7 years old! He was right in front of us so I had to keep checking to make sure Hannah and Josiah weren't watching his game! Certainly I can understand drawing in a bulletin, but to play a VIDEO GAME in church??? Obviously his parents don't want to train him or don't care about him learning about Jesus. I don't know, it was just very disturbing.

Not that I'm perfect not done everything perfectly with my children. I must say though that I am very thankful for how well they sit in church.

Another kind of crazy thing...recently I was thinking about one of my old college friends. I haven't been able to locate her on facebook, yet I know a few people who have been in touch with her. I'd love to reconnect with her and was just thinking of her yesterday and the day before. Well, then I get a prayer request from a mutual friend of ours asking to pray for V's stepdad who has cancer and is about to die. It's so GOD when something like that happens...when the person is already on your mind and then you find out why! I hope I'm able to connect with her again soon.

The sermon in church was wonderful. Our Pastor has been preaching on Jesus, the Miracle Man. There were also baby dedications and it was so neat how they did theirs.

I'm blank

I've had all these ideas running through my head lately about what to blog about and now they're gone. Disappeared. I feel like my brain cells have just depleted. Zilch. I'm so tired. The past two mornings I was up earlier than usual. Yesterday I couldn't' really fall back to sleep after Zach left, I was so worried about him driving to work when there was ICE everywhere! Yep, we had an ice storm. It's crazy, the public school kids have missed so much school. We've missed so many nights of our small group. BUT, the M Christian Academy carries on! Maybe this will be the first year we'll be done before the public school kids! I've come to learn, living in this climate for only a year while homeschooling, that you want to be OUT come those nice spring days! So, we're taking advantage of the cold, yucky days when we can't go out.

It was a bit of a bummer though, as we were supposed to have a playdate, I was going to get a few errands done and I was going to take Hannah to this book club at the library. BUT, we did get some academics in and will have time for a playdate later!

Ok, enough of this boring post. Hopefully I'll remember something and make my next post a bit more entertaining!

Crazy week

This week has been crazy busy, but good. Even still I know next week will be even more nuts. At least the weather has warmed up a bit more. By warm I mean 20s and 30s. It's so weird how we think that is 'warm'! Anyway, let's see...

We did our normal schoolwork at the beginning of the week. It was nice to really get back into the routine. We did just a review of history as our 'semester' had ended. I really love our history, yet the kids grumble about it. I just don't get it! I try to make it fun and we do projects and such at times. Maybe I need to try to incorporate more projects, I don't know. Then again we don't always have time to do things like that either, by the time we get other things done.

Thursday I had two friends over. There was the 3 of us moms and our 10 kids. The kids did great though! We all contributed pizza and fruit and had lunch together. I think we decided we're going to do this every couple of weeks, switching houses. The weird thing about it is that Hannah is the oldest. It is really weird to me to have the 'older' kids now. I always felt like my kids were the younger ones. Guess I'm getting older! That was something we talked about too. Like in our head we totally don't feel like we're older. I still feel like I'm a kid in my head! Sure, I feel responsible and all, but seriously where did the time go? How do I have 4 kids!? Where on earth has the time gone? Just crazy!

Zach took a half day that day so after they left he took the three older kids to the movie so Abby and I went and did a bit of necessity shopping and ate dinner at Chili's! Then we had our small group that night. We haven't had it for a long time and it was so nice to get back into it!

Friday I did school with the kiddos in the morning and then I went and got my eyebrows waxed and Hannah and I got our hair trimmed. Then I decided to run to Ames to bring my kid's clothes for consignment. It was such a wasted trip! First, I saw on the door how they weren't taking clothes in January so I brought my bin back into the truck. Then I wanted to pull my clothes that haven't sold yet and take them home, but I couldn't find a ton of them. I found 2 things with my number on them that weren't even mine! So, I asked about it and they said they'd look into it. No wonder I couldn't find any of my clothes! It makes me wonder what happened to the things I did bring in and whether or not I got credit for things that sold. So when I left I was very frustrated.

I did get to go to my friend, Jenn's though. I hadn't seen her in a LONG time! It was so nice to go and visit, to see her kids and to snuggle her baby. The baby slept on me the whole time! Sure brings on baby fever :)

Now today has been so busy...trying to clean up since I didn't get much done the past couple of days, had grocery shopping to do and STILL have bills to pay. It is so never-ending and sometimes it is really annoying! I just want a break from it all! Remember my dream? I'm really desiring that right about now!!!

Touching

Did anybody else watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition Sunday night (the one with David Cook)? I love that show! It is always just so touching and I always shed at least one tear. I was so moved by the girl in this show, a 12 year old with an incurable blood disease who is working to help kid's with cancer. Maybe the show touches me so much because at one time I wanted to be one to help people in a 'greater' or different capacity than what I do now.

For those who don't know, at one time in my life I wanted to be a social worker (hence the degree and $20k + school loan). I wanted to work in a children's hospital. Well, after seeing the show Sunday night I thought maybe I need to at least volunteer in some capacity. I've briefly looked in the past at volunteering in different capacities but never have. Being that we have a children's hospital nearby, the wheels in my brain began turning.

I just requested a volunteer form. They have a volunteer meeting February 2 that I hope I'll be able to attend. Even if I just do a few hours a week. Not only will I do something I've wanted to do for years and years, not only will I be able to (hopefully) impact children's lives in some sort of capacity (I hope NOT pushing paperwork, when I volunteered at a hospital while in college that's what I ended up doing), but I'll also be able to volunteer. IF I were to ever use my degree one day I could have this experience under my belt.

So, I will keep you posted on what happens. I'll continue to pray about it. It would also give me a chance to get out of the house on a regular basis! I'm really excited for where this may go!

Dream part deaux

Okay, Sherry your dream sounds absolutely heavenly. That's my dream also, I was aiming more for realistic :) Jamie, I'd love to grab spaghetti with you and both enjoy time away! I miss you SO much!

The other day I called my friend, Sadie, to see if she wanted to go out for dinner that evening. I hadn't really had much time away from my family during Christmas break, but I didn't mind that. I just thought I'd get a chance to get out before Zach returned to work on Tuesday. I had a coupon for Ruby Tuesday, buy one entree and get one free. I also decided to splurge and got a virgin strawberry daiquiri AND dessert! We then headed to the mall where I found jeans for Hannah for only $5! I also was able to get some deals at Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret! It was good shopping, but more importantly I had such a great time with my friend! It felt like awhile since we'd seen each other and it was nice to just sit and chat. I know I certainly needed it. So, thanks Sadie for being my 'date'!

On another note I think I may have broken my toe this morning. It happened in the most peculiar way- while getting dressed! What on earth! I just lost my balance trying to put on my underwear and somehow landed on that toe wrong. A naughty word slipped out, good thing the kids weren't around. It bruised up a little right away and I couldn't even bend it and could barely walk! Now it's really bruised and it really hurts. Ouch! How crappy. How do I manage to do such a stupid thing? I guess from now on I need to dress while sitting? Boy oh boy, I've always been clumsy but not to THIS extent!

Dumb as a Rock

***IS THIS BETTER MOM? MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE THE FONT BIGGER TOO! JUST KIDDING! Sorry, when I type its a white background so I'm not aware of the color issue when it posts!

So, our cable/Internet bill went up. Our year special ran out. Our bill was $150! I was like, "I am NOT paying that ridiculous price for cable & Internet!" So, I began to do some research on Direct TV and Dish Network. I know they both had specials they were offering. I decided they were both about the same price so was going to go with Direct TV and both my mom and I would get $10 off our bill for the next 10 months (I used her as a referral). So, I was going to change my Internet to Qwest. First, they tell me my computer cannot be older than 4 years. I said it was. Then I said I wasn't sure how old it is. I'm really NOT sure how old it is, but it IS older than 4 yrs. WHY on earth can I not get Internet from them just because of the age of my computer? Our laptops aren't that old, but our main PC is. So dumb. So I told them I wanted it anyway, stating I wasn't sure how old it was. Then I get a call yesterday about everything. The lady began to give me a phone number. Then she told me I needed to either rent or buy one of their modems. I thought, "WHATEVER!" We have a perfectly fine modem, although its for cable, not DSL. Then I began to think how I have NO phone line in the basement, where they'd probably have to set it up. I told the lady I ended to speak with my husband. I called him and told him what was going on and that I was cancelling Qwest and maybe DTV. So, I did. I signed up with Dish Network instead. For the same price as what we would've gotten with DTV we also get a DVR. The only thing is we'll have to stick with the same Internet company (cable) which is still a bit pricey. They charge you an extra $15 if you only have Internet through them! Oh well, I'm still saving money. And wouldn't you know when I called to cancel our cable the guy 'had an offer' but when I called a week ago to ask about my price being jacked up there was nothing they could do!

Then I felt almost harassed by the DTV lady when I told her I wanted to cancel. "But don't you understand the savings you're missing out on?" she kept asking. I did not tell her I'd get my services elsewhere! Then she told me she'd push back my installation date so I could think about it! No! And have to waste how much time calling AGAIN to cancel! What do those people not understand about that word~ cancel? Oh well, I got it all taken care of and eventually got school taken care of too.

Then my little Abby had diarrhea for awhile and then broke out into a rash. I thought I'd better call the doctors office, just to speak to a nurse, to ask about it. I figure there wasn't anything they could do but just wanted to check. The nurse calls back and was like, "Well you missed her last two well-baby appointments" to which I just said that we had a busy year, my husband was out of town a lot and I didn't realize. I think WBA's are SUCH a waste of time! My child has been very healthy and after having 4 I think I can tell. I think they just want to try to scam your insurance money out of you for those appointments. Not to mention you go there and come home sick! She then tells me how my daughter is behind on immunizations. Uh oh. I said she hasn't had any yet and she just paused and then told me how Abby probably caught something because she is NOT immunized. What EVER lady! DUH! So, I made a 'well-baby appointment' and brought Abby in. I wasn't too worried about the doctor with the shots, but was a bit. So far she's been super wonderful about it. And yesterday all she said was something about letting me make the decision to get her shots. Well, YEAH, it is my decision, but she was real friendly about it and not pushy or anything, just said how they DO recommend them. Why is it nurses can be a huge pain in the butt, more so than doctors???

Ok, time to get off of my soapbox for the day and change a diaper! I've been on this computer long enough. It's time to do something else!

~D~R~E~A~M~

So, as I lay awake last night due to Abby's diarrhea and had a dream. A wish, if you will. I think I mentioned on here (maybe?) that I haven't slept through the night since before she was born. She turned 16 months on Christmas. I was awake often before Abby was born, not only dealing with the final stages of pregnancy but also dealing with kidney stones and a stint. Abby's still sleeping with us, still nursing and still nursing at night. I wonder, at this point (just as I did with Gabe) why I decide to co sleep. I love it, but after awhile I really want my bed back and I want my sleep! I want to wean her but now that she's not feeling the greatest it's not an ideal time to try, and I'm really not sure how to try to go about it! She does take sippy cups, but she usually falls asleep to her mama's milk. Sigh. Anyway, I began to formulate a dream in my head...

Once my little girl is all weaned I'd love to take a Friday night and go to a hotel. No, make that a Bed & Breakfast. Just me. I'd pack my Bible, a book I'm reading, some bubble bath and chocolate. I'd leave my computer at home but take my cell phone to call home and say goodnight. And I'd just enjoy myself and relax. I'd maybe go out to dinner (alone) or grab a bite to eat. I'd be sure to have some yummy java or pop. Then I'd take a nice, relaxing bath. I'd read God's Word and read my book. I'm have a whole bed to myself and sleep so well, not worrying about my baby nursing, another child crawling into my bed in the middle of the night or one of Zach's many mid-night potty breaks! Ahhh that sounds so wonderful and relaxing. Yep, it's a dream. A far-fetched one, but that's usually what dreams are. What is your dream?

I'm really hoping to have her weaned by March. There's an Above Rubies retreat in Nebraska that I wouldn't mind going to and I'd love to take Hannah but leave Abby home (I've tried a retreat with a toddler, and while it works its just not as ideal).

Brrr

It is COLD outside! I was going to run to the library to return some books and get Hannah's book and run out to mail a few things to my parents but I managed to coax Zach to do it instead. I don't want to go out in the negative degree weather! And it's so teasing, the sun is shining and it LOOKS like it should be beautiful. But just open the front door and the cold air comes flying in. Yuck.

I feel bad that the dog has to go outside to pee when it's so cold out there! She doesn't even venture off the deck on days like this, and I can't say I blame her!

Zach's supposed to be having some guys over tonight to play Risk. Just some of the neighbor guys. I totally don't mind, but then he wants to do it tomorrow night too! I really wouldn't mind, but why does it always have to be at our house? Some of the people don't have kids, or if they do they don't have nearly as many as we have, so why can't they 'host' Risk night! Anyway, I'm sure he'll have a great time.

It's a New Year!

It's so weird that it's 2010! It seems like we just hit 2000, when people were going crazy over the whole Y2K deal and stocking up on canned goods. Now here we are already 10 years later! It just baffles me how time flies!

We didn't do anything exciting last night. My friend/neighbor invited us over for games, football and food but I wasn't sure if we'd go. The kids have been coughing and having runny noses, I was tired from our drive back from Dubuque and just didn't know what we'd do. I really wanted to go though, to have something to do. I'm not sure Zach knew what he wanted to do either, until he said it was way too cold out to go out. That's when I was bummed. Even if we'd just gone for a couple of hours. I guess I'm really more the social one than he is, I like to get out and meet people. I was bummed thinking how the stupid weather ruined that and the concert a few weeks ago that I wanted to go to but couldn't because of the roads :( It is just such a bummer! Anyway, it was all good and I managed to get a good portion of my book read and I think I was asleep by like 10:30!

Today I managed to get the downstairs cleaned and took down the Christmas stuff. I did my menu and went grocery shopping. I cleaned the upstairs bathrooms and put laundry away. It was a rather successful day. I even managed to almost finish my book. It's due back tomorrow so I'll either finish tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It is so weird. I remember seeing a preview of the movie and thinking it looked good bu wanting to read the book first. The book is almost trash. Way more sex and stuff in it than what I normally read. But, I wanted to see what happened and now I have about 50 more pages. So, off to watch the movie on TV and finish my book.

Happy New Year to you all!!!

The Grand Harbor Resort

Before Christmas we'd talked about taking a mini-vacation during Zach's 'free' time off of work during Christmas break. I'd looked online for a few things to do but it wasn't until after Christmas that we decided to go ahead and do SOMETHING. So, here we are in Dubuque, Iowa at the Grand Harbor Resort & indoor waterpark! We arrived yesterday and will leave tomorrow. A nice little bit of time away from home! I have to tell you that the pictures make the place look way nicer than what it is. It isn't the worst I've seen, but certainly not as nice as the pictures. We're in a Double Junior Suite (or something like that) and to me it just doesn't look like how the pictures show it! I guess resorts have that issue though. So many families probably come and go out of this place. It was the same way years ago at a resort we stayed at in Myrtle Beach.

Right now Zach and the three older kids are down playing. Abby has been really, really, REALLY fussy! I think she's getting a couple of more teeth. It's really getting on my nerves, especially when I had a headache earlier and all I wanted was some quiet! And all she wanted was me, yet she'd get me and then not want me! Here I'm trying to wean her, and I'm not really sure how to go about it, and all she wants is the boob. Grrr. So I'm hoping with the quiet she'll take a nice nap and I'll get some peace. I also hope they're down there for awhile. I went down with Hannah for awhile, as I hadn't gotten to go on the slides and really wanted to try them. My monthly 'friend' decided to come a few days ago so I haven't been able to enjoy everything as much as I wanted. Anyway, go figure that Abby was fine when I was gone but as soon as I walk in the door she is whining like crazy.

I totally didn't mind not going on the slides, it was so fun walking around with Abby. I just held her hand and had her dictate where we went and it was fun to see her explore! She'd stomp in the water, try to avoid the spraying water and then eventually went and stuck her face right in it! They have a little 1 ft. kiddie 'pool' so we splashed in there for awhile. It was so fun to see her fascination with it all! It was also cute when the kids were getting ready to go down a bit ago how Abby grabbed her suit and was carrying it around! She wanted to go play too! But I opted to keep her up here. She needs the rest and for some reason that place gives me a headache (I'm getting another one). Not sure if its all the chaos, the chlorine or a combination.

Well, I'm sure I had more I was going to say but stinker girl isn't being as cooperative as I would've liked and I really want to read more of my book. Please pray for safe travels for us tomorrow. It's been snowing today so I hope the roads are good for our 3 hr trek home!

Oh, one other thing...there's a restaurant attached to the hotel. Which meant no continental breakfast. Breakfast almost cost as much as dinner last night at Tony Roma's. The food was alright, not the best and not the worst and the service was terrible. We opted to no longer eat there while we're here!

Celebrate Jesus

We had a very good Christmas. It was so relaxing. Hannah awoke about 5 and came into my room. I made her lay in bed with us. She was whispering how she woke at 3 but went back to bed. I couldn't sleep well that night either, but not because of 'Santa' but because the rain was slamming against our bedroom windows. She also told me she thought she heard Santa's boots on the kitchen floor! Ok? It's crazy. We tell our kid's there's no Santa and yet they still 'believe' in him. I don't even write 'from Santa' on the presents, but Mom & Dad and yet they still talk about Santa. Oh well. I don't care, I know it's fun to 'believe' as a kid, but we do continue to tell them there's no such thing.

Anyway, Abby finally starting stirring after 6:30 and by that time Gabe was in our bed too so we got up. I know the kids were very excited. They all went by the tree and were grabbing at gifts that had their name on them and so Abby went over and grabbed a box so that she could have something to open too :) It sure didn't take the kids long to dig into and open those gifts! Even Abby was having fun. She wanted her toys out of their boxes right away! She sure loves her toys- a 'singing' purse, a mailbox, a phone, some baby dolls, a laptop. Hannah had kept asking about this one gift that had been in my closet and then was under the tree for awhile. She wanted to know whose it was but I never would tell her. Finally she found out it was hers. I had double wrapped it. She was so excited to get the American Doll bed she'd really wanted (thanks Nanny). It sure is a cute bed!

The boys were thrilled to get all sorts of different types of Lego's and Bionicle's! I didn't see them a whole lot as they were in the basement building their things. Josiah got a space police thing, a house and some Bionicle's. Gabe got Pirate Lego's, some K'Nex thing and some Bionicle's. Zach spoiled me with some Willow Tree figures. He got me one called Brothers with two boys together (Josiah & Gabe). He got me this little girl holding a balloon that he said is Abby and a girl with a book that he said is Hannah. It was thoughtful!

I took a nap with Abby on the couch, read and just relaxed all day. I made a later dinner of lasagna and then made Peanut Blossom cookies for Zach (they're his favorite and I'd been wanting to make them). That is one nice thing about not having people over for Christmas is you can just relax. I didn't really miss my family too much like I normally do! It was just wonderfully quiet and peaceful. Isn't that what Christmas should be? Too many people stress out about it!

I hope you all had a blessed Christmas also! Oh yeah, Christmas Eve we were supposed to go to church but the weather hadn't been too well so we decided to stay home. Good thing we did as it was cancelled anyway! We stayed home, sang some Christmas songs together and then on Christmas we read the Christmas story.

Christmastime is here!

I can't even remember when I last blogged. The kids got to open a gift on Sunday (they opened one from my mom). They opened all the ones from Zach's mom yesterday and we took them shopping with Christmas money they'd gotten where they bought some toys. These kids have already made out like bandits and it's not even Christmas! We let them open one a bit ago and they'll open another after dinner, which will be new Christmas pajamas that everyone got. Once Christmas is over I think they'll be disappointed that there are no other gifts to open! Spoiled kids!

Last night we had some neighbors over and we played a game I bought with some of my Christmas money (Apples to Apples). It's a pretty fun game. Hannah had us open the gifts she bought everybody this morning. She got Zach the new Indiana Jones movie, Abby an outfit, the boys Lego's and me a cross necklace. It came in a purple box that had a cross on it and it's got February birthstones and 'diamonds' on the cross. It was a birthstone necklace, which she doesn't know, but she said, "I got it for you because your favorite color is purple." I've been wearing it all day! It was so thoughtful and pretty! She used her own money to get all of us gifts!

We ordered pizza for dinner tonight. We were going to go to the Christmas Eve service at church but it's kinda drizzly/rainy out and I can just imagine it freezing and being slippery. I'd rather stay home and do something here. I think after our pizza we'll open the pj's, get baths, sing some songs, read the story of Jesus' birth and go to bed early. Last night the kids were up until 10:30 because of our company! They were so good though, but I can tell some of them are tired today!

It has been a very relaxing week. I got my baking done earlier in the week, and delivered to neighbors. We did a gingerbread house yesterday. I finished another Christmas book today and started a new one. Today Hannah and I made smoothies.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope yours is as wonderful and relaxing as ours will be! Remember to celebrate the birth of Jesus!!!